My husband has been in charge of the finances for the entirety of our 15 yr marriage. In the beginning he wouldn't touch credit cards bc he was afraid of them. He even pointed to the fact that I came into the marriage with $1,500 CC debt as proof that I shouldn't be the one running the money.
Then we tried to buy a house a few years ago. We were told by a financial advisor that we should have a CC to build our credit. It was supposed to be for gas only and paid of each month, but one thing led to another and a year or two later he confessed we were in $25,000 debt. Not because of anything crazy, it was just a little spending here and there. We had a 'come to Jesus' meeting and he agreed to cut up all the CC's and spend only the cash we have.
Things were all good until the beginning of this year when I learned that he had paid our vacation Air BNB with a Klarna account he opened without my knowledge. He said it wasn't really a credit card and that we don't have to pay interest. I was fine with it when it was just for the vacation rental, but in the past couple of months, he's used it for our son's weekly bowling league, groceries, and today he took us out to eat for lunch with it. Out bank account says we still have $400 in our checking acct, but he says we have bills coming out this week and he wants to make sure the money is there.
Every time I talk to him about using the Klarna, he gets super defensive and tells me I'm being judgemental. I just want to know what his thought process is so I can understand it better. To me, it sounds a lot like the payday loan trap I fell into before I met him. Right now, our total owed to Klarna is over $900. He gets paid $2,700 every 2 weeks.
Am I worried about nothing? Is Klarna a smarter choice? I would talk to him about it, but he shuts me down when I try.
CC addicted spouse started using Klarna because it's 'better than a credit card '
byu/babydonkey2813 inpersonalfinance
Posted by babydonkey2813
25 Comments
You don’t have a finance issue, you have a relationship issue. Seek therapy, regardless whether you keep using klarna
Klarna is no different than credit cards, debt is debt. Overspending is overspending. If no interest is truly accruing, and these purchases you would make anyway, seems like no harm. If it’s an excuse to spend *more*, harm.
Klarna pay over 4 with no interest is a nice tool to break up large expenses. But for someone with a track record of over spending on a credit card simply because they had access to the credit line, this is a terrible trap. He’s going to get sucked in at least as much as he did with the credit card beforehand.
Get him to run away now.
A CC can work in the same way as Klarna; if you pay the entire statement balance by due date, then no interest accrues. Klarna spreading that out for four months isn’t better, because it’s just indicative of a spending problem that you both need to have a serious conversation about, starting with developing and sticking to a household budget.
> m I worried about nothing
No. Your husband seems to be spending your into the poorhouse and youre too nice to put your foot down.
Klarna is just another way to feed the spending beast.
It’s time for a serious come to Jesus moment
Start here: https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics.
Budgeting: https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/budgeting
Sounds like he may be embarrassed about the debt he’s built up behind your back. I’d suggest sitting down and having a heart to heart to find out from him what the real reason for his defensiveness. Then you both tackle the debt. But you should absolutely be worried. That kind of behavior shouldn’t be ignored in any relationship.
I’ve never used Klarna, but accruing debt on it isn’t a ‘better’ way to be in debt. It still accrues interest and impacts your credit score.
Honestly, if you only have $400 in your checking account, you shouldn’t be going on vacation or really eating out at all. Maybe it’s a savings versus checking question, but it sounds like spending is entirely out of control and the credit cards and buy now pay later are being used like a free money casino.
> Is Klarna a smarter choice?
The smarter choice here is to stop spending money you don’t have, so if that 25k debt is still there, that means no more vacations and other luxuries. This is what your finances should look like: https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics
I’d get on r/relationshipadvice and ask for advice on gaining (shared) control over your shared finances, because he clearly cannot handle it (on his own).
Once you understand the complete picture of your income and debts, come back here and we can help.
Why the hell is he in charge of the finances? Take control!
Don’t go on Airbnb vacations when you have $25k cc debt. You’re both broke. Stop spending money you don’t have and deal with your debt first. The only other option is to be perpetually poor and a slave to your debt holders.
Maybe it is time for you to take over the finances. At the least, you should have access to all of the accounts, and check the amounts regularly. This especially includes all of the debt.
You also need to talk to your husband. You need a plan to pay off the credit card debt. I would suggest not adding any more debt, and only use cash or debit card. You also need a budget to figure out where the money is going so can get spending under control. Finally, you need to figure out how much you can spend on paying off debt.
You have a kid, only $400 in bank (still 25k debt? presumably still no house?) not much income and you’re kept out of your finances.
I’m sorry to say this OP. This situation is a bit worse than just Klarna. That’s a credit service, basically. And your family has no business going on vacations and putting it on credit when you have no money no savings and living beyond your means. Your husband putting that little $1500 more than 15 years ago as control over you and keeping you out of your finances while putting you as well as your child as well as your entire family‘s future in this situation as the economy goes into a nose dive and to try to blame it on you, getting defensive, etc. I don’t know where the money is going, but this situation should not continue. You have to find a solution for your sake and your child/children. It’s just not going to be sustainable. Either way your standard of life will probably need to change. It’s commendable that you are taking the responsibility to learn about personal finance. It may seem to be a long road. And I’m sorry that you’ve been kept out of your own financial life for so long. I hope that is not too badand you can recover from this.
I feel like this is just a klarna ad for people with bad spending habits.
If it’s real, stop spending money you don’t have.
Yeah sorry to tell you this. But you both are way too irresponsible for both CCs and Klarna. Autopay is a thing, you didn’t have to rack up $25k in CC debt to begin with. Klarna is the same thing. A loans a loans a loan. The banks want you to do this. It’s not better it’s the same trap. All the loans you listed are traps. Not because the CC or Klarna, because the people using them irresponsibly. Don’t let the banks turn you into their slave.
Your husband believes he can get free money. That’s a problem. Next it will be payday loans.
There is no reason you need to be running up credit cards or using klarna.
Financial infidelity is a major cause of marriage collapse. You have to get on the same page or his bad behaviors could cost you your housing and basic life standards.
I would personally never forgive a partner for hiding debt or lying about money to me.
Stop taking vacations if you have $400 in the bank and are still paying off $25,000 in debt, jesus
He’s using it as a credit card. You have to put your foot down before you find out that you guys both suddenly have a 500 credit score
This man should absolutely not be in charge of the household finances. You need visibility into absolutely everything. Financial infidelity is very serious
You don’t get $25,000 in credit card debt in 2 years from “a little spending here and there.” I suspect your husband has a very expensive habit you are unaware of. Y’all have some big issues to work out, and above all else your husband cannot be trusted with joint finances.
WTF. With all due respect, he needs to stop being in charge of money. You need to start being involved and actively managing. Alarm bells should be ringing because you’re digging yourself further and further into debt.
Where did you think the money for the vacation was coming from? He’s carrying $25k in credit card debt and you thought he had the money for vacation?
The fundamental problem is, you don’t have a budget.
You shouldn’t be spending money you don’t have in your account, until you have a budget setup. Look at YNAB, or grab a free spreadsheet from here, and start budgeting. Credit cards are fine if you pay them off, but you can only pay them off if your money coming in is more than your money going out.
Maybe try to shift the focus from specific things like Klarna, and frame it as you wanting to understand where your money is going each month, and ensuring you are saving enough money to have a safety net. These are things you can only really do if you’re budgeting.
FWIW, your husband sounds like he has problems with spending, like real problems, and that’s why he both hates credit cards and is being shifty now. Try to bring it back to neutral ground and emphasise transparency and control over spending above all.
I think Klarna/Afterpay, etc are worse than a credit card. It’s at every checkout now and they make it feel like it’s not the same as a credit card. I fell into that trap; once I paid my debts off, I deleted the account.
Debt is debt. Read about zero based budgeting and get your spending under control or you are going to get yourself into a lot of trouble. Do you have at least three months of savings? If you had to pay off Klarna tomorrow, could you? If your car needed a $1000 repair, could you pay cash for it without worrying about groceries or the mortgage?
If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, you have a big problem. What happens if your husband is laid off or injured and you lose his income?
Stop living in wishy washy fantasy land and manage your finances together or separate.