hi all, this has been weighing deeply on me. I’ve told my boyfriend about my student debt but didn’t tell him the exact number. I have a bs in public health and mph in epidemiology and $146k in debt. I am on PSLF plan and pay the minimum as interests accrues. I am worried about this everyday. I don’t make enough at my non profit (61k) to aggressively pay down the loans so i though pslf would be the best path, at least for now. It really makes me depressed and it’s a part i haven’t told him. he’s been transparent about his income (making 200k as a software engineer), paid off all his debt so i’m scared he is going not accept me and i guess i rather know now than in the future. I want a higher paying job badly but can’t seem to land even an interview at this time.
Do you think I should tell my boyfriend of almost a year about my student loan balance?
byu/Valuable_Art2516 inStudentLoans
Posted by Valuable_Art2516
6 Comments
I mean, if this is something you see as a long-term relationship, you should tell him ASAP.
Financial transparency is quite literally one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship.
If it’s a serious relationship you should be open about your financial situation. Also, if you are paying on pslf there’s no reason to be embarrassed.
Reverse the roles.
Would you be okay if he was hiding a big debt from you ?
Would you be okay wondering if someone was hiding the debt from you until you’re too vested in the relationship? Would you be okay wondering if the other person did that so you would potentially feel like paying it?
You have a plan to pay it off with PSLF, which is very responsible.
If I were him, hiding it would be the problem for me. It gives “what else are you not telling me about?”
I totally understand the stress/embarrassment from your perspective but just sit him down and say the relationship seems serious and he deserves to know if y’all ever plan on making the next step
My wife was up front about her $330k debt when we met. She brought it up in the context of her money values, and goals. It definitely stressed her out.
I will admit at the time it was terrifying because I had paid mine off. But it was a question. I would’ve asked before we ever got married so I was glad to know when we were just dating.
The balance is important. But also what you plan to do about it. For us that meant a radically different first couple years of marriage
It sounds like you know the answer, I hope it goes well!