I’m running a small startup from korea with around 10 people. revenue is $80k a month, and the company has grown about 10× compared to a year ago without external investment.
But as the business grew, I realized there’s another kind of problem. I am becoming more lonely. I’m in my mid-30s and have spent almost a decade coding and building startups, mostly alone. I have 2 years experiment in a company as a emplyee but most of my career is working as a solo freelancer developer.
Also, I’m not married, and I’ve never really been a social person. I have a couple of friends, but they’re all married and busy, so we rarely see each other.
Now that the company has 10 people, I actually feel more isolated. The more we grow, the heavier the decisions and responsibilities get. I can’t really talk about these things with my employees, and there aren’t many people around me who would understand.
I just want to stay focused on building a better product, but lately it feels like my personal struggles are growing faster than the company. Sometimes I wonder, is this deep loneliness just part of being a founder? Or am I doing something wrong?
It’s starting to affect my weekends. Instead of learning or doing something meaningful, I waste time playing games or doing nothing. My focus is fading, and I’m honestly scared that if this keeps up, it might start hurting the company too.
I don’t know how to deal with this. Any advice would mean a lot.
(P.S. Last time I posted something similar, I got a bunch of DMs from people offering “consulting sessions.” Most of them were just ads. Please don’t do that this time.)
Posted by kiyyang
5 Comments
i will help you run your startup
dude i’ve been there. when your startup starts to grow, it weirdly gets lonelier. you can’t really vent to the team, and your old friends don’t get it anymore. it’s rough.
try finding just one or two other founders to talk with. doesn’t need to be a group or anything formal. it helps a ton just to talk to someone who’s in the same boat.
also get out of work mode sometimes. go to the gym, walk, anything that’s not screens. and yeah therapy’s fine too, it’s not a big deal.
You got this
You have ten people; I am not at your level. But I do understand that some decisions and responsibilities stay with the owner
Maybe, you can still offload some of the responsibilities.On the other hand, you could chat with someone you build a trust relationship with.
As for relationships; they are like good products. They need maintenance and care. Finding a good fit is maybe best done by keeping it simple and real.
Not all conversations should be about work.
Consider yourself lucky. If you were married, the burden would have been a lot heavier. Focus on your life and work. There is no solace in humans.
What helped me was to have a separate community outside of work for support. I suggest a sports league or even something like CrossFit, it will help you move your body, meet new people in a community and allow yourself to have a mental reset every day