Every day they are going to restaurants or ordering fast food and when I say I'm not willing to spend 8 bucks on a fucking burger they look at me as if I'm the cheapest man alive.
I don't want seem cheap, but I feel like I will just have to stop hanging out with them, it sucks, but I don't see any other way around this.
Sometimes I just sit in the restaurant with them eating my home made sandwich but of course that just leads to more scrutiny.
I honestly don't care anymore, but I don't want to end up alone yk.
How to deal with friends who constantly eat out?
byu/LilGuyfr inFrugal
Posted by LilGuyfr
30 Comments
Suggest different ways to hang out and stop saying yes to going to restaurants with them. Also, come on dude, don’t bring outside food to restaurants and eat it there
I am often fueled by spite. Bring the samy into borgar king. Frick the man. Who are you going to offend, Joshua Kobza?
Gotta remember not everyone thinks the way you do, or has the same mentality towards money and savings. There are people that are frugal in other ways, but eating out might be their one outlet that they choose to indulge because it makes them happy. Different priorities for different folks.
You’re bringing your own dinner into restaurants? Dude not only is that cheap, that’s bloody rude. I’m surprised they let you do that, back in my hospitality days we’d kick people out for doing that kinda thing.
If you don’t want to go out for food, stop going out for food. Suggest alternatives maybe even invite him upto your house for home cooked meals.
Bring the samy
Bringing a homemade sandwich to a restaurant is the dictionary definition of cheap. That could even get you kicked out of the restaurant.
Covid taught me that I go to restaurants more for the experience than the food (and takeout is the worst of both worlds– okay food with the chores that go along with eating at home). It’s something that I personalyl value.
As one grows older, your values change. And it could mean that you grow apart from your friendship. Friends for a season (ie classmates) exist.
I like my homemade sandwiches better than most of the easy options available around my office. I was motivated to make soup this week not because of the money, but because the food I can buy is so mediocre. đ
Anyway – can you tell them you like your food better? Are there spaces to eat nearby where they can bring their takeout and you can bring your sandwich? (Iâm having lunch with a friend on Monday, Iâm having leftovers, I think heâs picking up food, weâre hanging out in my officeâs break room).
Do you have a line for social life in your budget?
This is less frugal, and more like a relationship issue.
If your trying to save money, then don’t go out.
If your having conflicts due to your frugalness, then you need to evaluate if:
A) you’re being too cheap and need to loosen a little.
B) you need to have a chat with your friends and discuss any behavior you feel is targeted towards you.
Rueing or bringing your own food to a restaurant are not going to make the situation better. If they are adults, then they should be able to have a conversation, and hopefully respect your decision.
If not, well that’s up to you if you want to hangout with them.
Say ânoâ
Just eat before you hang out with them. Or tell them youâre not hungry and suggest something else to do? Meet up with them after they eat?
Invite them to picnic together in a park, you bring your food and they bring take out.Â
look if they are your friend they should understand and compromise if they don’t want to well you know where you stand.
there are plenty other activities to do that are more fun than stuffing your face with overpriced food.
maybe suggest that: other things to do.
or idk find friends who want to do other stuff.
It’s not a perfect solution, but at least some of the time you can make cooking a meal together the activity you’re doing. I’m sure at least part of the problem is that when you’re intimidated by cooking, restaurants are the reasonable option. But, for what they’re spending on burgers, you could be eating steaks and have money leftover for wine; pitch them on a fancier experience.
May I ask how old you are? I feel like those kind of friendships changed for me when I hit 40. Iâm a female and most of my hang outs now are walk dates with friends.
Go with them when you can. So if they go out 5x a week. Maybe go with them 1x per week, per 2 weeks.
All you have to tell them — my budget is x per days.
What you do with your money is at your discretion – theirs is at theirs.; Maybe suggest different activity or find new friends that align to yours.
Youâre the one making a big deal out of this. Theyâre allowed to eat out. In fact, theyâre probably not wasting very much money compared to being a single person eating the same things. (Meaning that if youâre eating a peanut butter sandwich, then youâre spending less, but if youâre eating a burger with the same ingredients that you made it home versus at a restaurant youâre probably spending about the same amount of money.)Â
If theyâre not explicitly stating that youâre cheap but just giving you funny looks it sounds like youâre projecting their judgment. You are judging them more than they are judging you. Fucking burger? Sounds judgmental.
Have you suggested alternate group activities?
Can you go for the conversation and just order a drink that has free refills? My friend who has Celiac Disease always carries a Celiac safe granola/protein bar, could you do the same?
Honestly, say only this: *I’m saving up for my own place. How about we do wings (make your own) and football ( or whatever sport) at my place on Thursday night (pick any day)?* Say it’s BYOB and let the rest handle itself. That’s it.
Iâm happily retired. When I used to get invited at work to stop for food, my usual was it is cheaper at home and my wife makes better burgers than and place. Why pay $6 for an inferior item? It has been a while since I retired.
First, I’d like to know where in the USA you can still get a burger for $8, haha. Maybe set a budget to eat out once a week or twice a month or something, just so you can go once in a while? Also if you decide to do this, get the app for whatever chain/restaurant they are going to….there are usually some amazing discounts.
It’s against the health code to bring outside food into a restaurant. You’ve been lucky to get away with it so far. I’m not judging you for it, just letting you know before it does become an awkward situation.
Additionally, every seat that a server has in a restaurant has the potential to make money. By taking up a seat & not spending any money, you are doing a disservice to the server & the restaurant. Depending on where you live, servers can make as little as $2.13 an hour because it is assumed that they will earn tips that will add up to minimum wage. Most servers do make decent money overall but it can come down to having a paying customer in every set at every shift. As someone who is struggling to get by yourself, please have more consideration for others in the same position.
âIâm down to go withâ âI already ateâ âIâm not hungryâ. Itâs their problem, not yours if you dont get anything. In your situation, I would eat beforehand so that you arenât bringing food into a restaurant.
Order a side of salad or fries.Â
Unless its business, no need to go eat out every day.
You become like the top 5 friends you spend the most time with.
In my experience it works better to give them an alternative than to just say no to plans. It’ll be easier to convince them if they suggest going out and you counter with ‘wanna play some board games/ watch a movie/ hang at my place’ and throwing a frozen pizza or whatever in the oven. That way you still have something easy and fastfood, but it’s also way cheaper.
If everytime they suggest something you just go no, it just won’t work out.
You are cheap, embrace it or change it.
8 bucks for a burger is not expensive. What is expensive is doing it every day.
Go out once in a while, pick a day or two a week or something. Enjoy it or shut up about it, or just donât go. Definitely donât bring food into a restaurant, thatâs not legal in most places.
Sometimes you have to pass on friendships or meet them less often.
I found that I just don’t want to hang out with people when going out for a meal is their hobby. I am allergic to so many things, so I end up eating nothing but French Fries and it’s boring.
Also, there are so many more interesting hobbies than eating out.
Find a different hobby (a less expensive one) and you’ll make friends who share your hobby.
This isn’t something to lose friendships over, unless these people aren’t actually good friends. Have you explained that you have financial goals and don’t have room in your budget to eat out daily? Have you suggested other ways to hang out? Also, it’s easy to order the cheapest thing on the menu in order to still enjoy seeing your friends. Just get a cheap drink and skip the food.
$8 for a burger!? Sign me upÂ