My parents are boomers who never had their own business or freelancing job. My dad works for the same company for 30+ yrs (accountant, manager, director) and my mom was a teacher, then real estate agent, then housewife. I have custom made order business (party formal couture dresses and wedding gowns) that I've been building from scratch with 0 capital since late 2018 fresh off college. Covid hit me hard as I didn't get a single order for a whole year in 2020. I just recovered with steady order every month this year.
Anyway I rely mainly on social media for marketing. Mainly reels and ads as my target market mostly use instagram. The reels I make usually consist of cuts of my work process with background music. I'd tried tiktok but the users are simply too young and less inclined to spend much for customized couture dress. I was grumbling about how meta keeps increasing ads budget for wider reach and somehow my parents suddenly became "a social media expert". They told me I need to start making more reels with my face on it. I need to start sharing my daily vlogs, show myself wearing the dresses I made, doing makeup, mukbang/food review, essentially, be an influencer. Because that's the fastest way to get clients.
I didn't even bother saying anything cause I was so annoyed. How is it they think me becoming famous for my look = clients? Tying my personal character to my business brand is a sure way to a short-term brand life. The moment I slipped saying something controversial, I'd get cancelled. It's the fckn internet. I wanna build a trustworthy good quality brand image, not a parasocial rs. When they said "you're pretty and you're good with makeup too. You need to utilize your look" annoys me so much. I shared my friend's story who owns her own rental dress boutique. When she started out, she modeled everything herself, built her brand by becoming a beauty influencer as well. She got hella stalked. Some dude followed her everywhere she went, even waited outside her house for hours. She had to file restraining order and scrubbed all her pictures off her brand account, as well as deleted all her personal acc. Know what my dad said? "well that's the risk of being successful and famous. You have to be ready to face creeps"
Is he fr? Are they insane? I'm convinced they're so out of touch with the reality of being a young woman with social media. I got regular dick pics on my ig DM and all I did was making my account public; I'm not even insta famous. I was followed on a random Tue by a guy who said he "followed me on instagram and wanted to talk to me" when I was in college. I had to literally hide in train station toilet and called my guy friend to come help me out. It's like hearing my dad says "you gotta sacrifice being creeped out by creeps for more money". What kind of shitty advice is that? Ffs y'all, sorry for the rant.
Terrible marketing advice from parents
byu/daysof_I inEntrepreneur
Posted by daysof_I
10 Comments
When you run a business, all of the sudden everyone you know and everyone you meet randomly is an expert consultant. I became such a hermit after starting my business, or only going out in circles that wouldn’t know about me. I haven’t even been on a group bike ride in like 2 years.
This sounds very annoying cause it’s your parents but I would just try to ignore them as much as possible or just say “thank you for the ideas” and move on with whatever you were doing.
They’re right that people buy from people they trust – so showing your face from time to time definitely helps with that. BUT, I get you. I am also a couture designer and I have zero interest in being an influencer. I do not want to commodify my personhood, and I like my privacy.
My reels get 10k-800k views, averaging around 50k each and I very rarely show my face. I do from time to time so people know there’s a human here, but I’m with you – I don’t want my business tied in with my personality.
“Founder-led” brands are the new trend, it works and works quickly but like Ma Corsetiere or Madeleine White, it also puts a bullseye on your back. No thanks.
Your parent’s advice is worth politely ignoring b/c you are a high (or higher) end artisan/ craftsperson. You make money from making stuff, not by shilling stuff for others. You should tell them that.
I sell on Etsy. You tried using that platform? Worth looking into.
I don’t know if I were pretty, I’d probably try and leverage it like I do with everything else.
I get the safety concerns. They’re real. But pretending your brand should hide behind your product is a huge mistake. Couture isn’t a commodity. People buy the maker. Not the fabric. Not the stitching. You.
There’s a reason every luxury buyer follows the designer, not the mannequin. The trust, the connection, the story. That’s the real conversion engine.
You don’t need to dance on TikTok or vlog your breakfast. You need to show the human being clients are wiring thousands of dollars to. A faceless brand in 2025 is basically invisible.
Your parents aren’t marketers, but ironically they’re right on this one. The internet punishes anonymity.
You’re scared of the creeps and I get it. But that’s not a business strategy problem. That’s a boundary and safety problem. Don’t limit your brand potential because you believe everyone has bad intent!
If you want to build a real business, the brand is you whether you like it or not.
i don’t know why you would listen to advice on X from people who never did X themselves
Step 1. Dont listen to anyone for advice that hasn’t succeeded in something similar to what you’re trying.
Would you take Investing advice from Warren buffett or some boomer that panicked in 2008 and sold at massive losses?
Totally fair, I’m a mobile mechanic and now I get friends and family telling me “you need a big 16 foot truck for all your tools” meanwhile I just don’t take jobs that I need that big of equipment for.
Honestly just keep doing what’s successful, and surround yourself with other business owners. I actually set up a discord group for young entrepreneurs, it’s not perfect but it’s nice to talk to people that can relate and stuff https://discord.gg/8qyj9KxHb
I’ll fully admit it’s not perfect but it can help
You’re upset you’re getting terrible advice from two people who have zero marketing experience.
Take advice from people who have done what you want to do or are where you want to be.
Parents are well meaning but put their advice in context.
They’re clueless but trying to help which is both sweet and annoying. I’d LOVE videos of the couture process highlighting the materials and process that make it luxe. Like picking the right lace or a close up on hand beading. Highlighting the craftsmanship perhaps with an asmr (annoying I know) twist could be good for views