Depression about student loans and life changes, advice needed

First time posting here, and I apologize for the long post, I’m just really needing some advice and encouragement.

I graduated in 2020 with a graduate degree and ~$56k in federal student loans (undergrad + grad). I was a first-generation college student with very little family support financially or emotionally while getting myself through school, and I truly didn’t fully understand the longterm impact of borrowing at the time.

I’ve worked in a PSLF-eligible job since graduating in 2020 but didn’t have payments due to COVID, then enrolled in SAVE and paid about $250/month until the SAVE forbearance. When I tried to apply for PSLF (after SAVE forbearance already started) to see how many qualifying payments I had, it was denied because I wasn’t considered to be in a qualifying plan at the time, so my number of payments is still in question.

I live in a HCOL area. I had some credit card debt from poor spending habits when I first moved here, which I aggressively paid off a year ago, and I also paid off my car, so my only debt now is student loans. For reference, I’m 30, and based on last year’s AGI, my estimated IBR payment will be around $550/month.

On top of repayment restarting, my partner and I (who I live with) are splitting up. I’m trying to budget for higher living expenses (~$400 more a month than I pay now) and student loan payments. It’s been overwhelming, especially while actively dealing with the emotional toll of a fresh breakup. The housing I can afford (while budgeting for the upcoming student loan payments) isn’t ideal or in areas where I feel comfortable living alone, and the places I want to live feel financially impossible with my student loan payments restarting again and being so much higher than they were while on SAVE.

I feel like I’m grieving both my relationship and the life flexibility I’d have without these loans.
I’m feeling really stuck, discouraged and depressed. Having the student loans feels so limiting, and I’m struggling to see the end. I’m also angry at myself for even taking out these loans, but I truly didn’t know any better.

I’m not sure if I should wait out SAVE and continue saving for my impending move and increased living expenses, or if I should go ahead and apply for IBR (or a different plan?) before recertifying my income as it’s gone up a bit in the last year. Also, just to address this so it doesn’t come up in the comments, getting roommates is not an option for me, unfortunately.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about student loans, so any advice/encouragement provided through this thread would be appreciated. The anxiety and sadness about this is keeping me awake at night. I’m struggling, as I know many of us are right now.