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    My wife has terminal brain cancer–recommendations?

    A unique situation:
    37M in SLC. My wife has terminal brain cancer, likely 3-5 years of life remaining. She is unlikely to work again. We now clear $300-500 in savings each month. We rent and I don't plan to become a homeowner. I have no idea what I want my life to be when she's gone.
    Checking: 2k
    HYSA: 60k (a year of expenses and a few bucket-list vacations when she is ready)
    VOO: 70k
    HSA: 15k (maxed annually)
    401k: 100k (adding ~12k a year)

    Any thoughts on my setup and current financial plan?

    My wife has terminal brain cancer–recommendations?
    byu/ClarenceMason85 inpersonalfinance



    Posted by ClarenceMason85

    View 8 Comments

    8 Comments

    1. Cawkisthebest232 on

      I am going to leave out any emotion

      She is a prime candidate for SSDI. Check her work for any disability insurance. Check her work for any life insurance policies.

    2. BouncyEgg on

      I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

      I think the bucket-list vacations thing will be important and it seems appropriately prioritized.

      > Any thoughts on my setup and current financial plan?

      The setup looks fine.

      With respect to the financial plan, it’s challenging because we don’t have all the details.

      But if you’re following the Prime Directive, you’re doing fine.

      —-

      Sounds like you are asking about a framework for what to do with money.

      Start with reviewing the Prime Directive in the PF Wiki. It will answer your question and many other questions you didn’t realize you should be asking.

      * https://www.reddit.com//r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics

      —

      These two sections of the PF Wiki may be helpful to you.

      * https://www.reddit.com//r/personalfinance/wiki/end_of_life_planning
      * https://www.reddit.com//r/personalfinance/wiki/death_of_loved_one

      —

    3. plastic_chucker1020 on

      If she has credit cards that are solely in her name you are not responsible for that debt or any medical debt. Don’t try to or feel obligated to pay that debt is not yours to pay. It’s the estates responsibility and if she has no estate then it’s written off.

      Make sure all the important bills like utility, cell phone, etc. Are in your name. Get all her passwords saved somewhere.

      The reality is you never have as long as they tell you and the quality of life is better now than it will be later. Take those trips, spend that time, record her voice, take lots of pictures.

      I lost my wife to metastatic breast cancer at 42, it sucks, I wish someone had told me all these things.

    4. terracottatilefish on

      I’m so sorry you and your wife are facing this awful disease.

      What’s your current housing setup? Is it accessible for someone who is likely going to lose balance and mobility? No stairs to the bedroom, wide doorways, no-sill shower? You have enough of a runway that you may want to think about moving if staying in your home is a priority.

      You may want to get FMLA set up for yourself as a caregiver if you haven’t. You don’t need to use it till you need it, but having the paperwork completed annually at a routine appointment will make it easier if you need to take time off on short notice.

      Get those bucket list trips underway.

      This is somewhat macabre, but you may want to look into prepaid funeral planning or at least get a good idea of what she would want ahead of time.

    5. TheTummyTickler on

      Heya,

      Sorry you’re in this. Pseudo similar situation here (except I’m the patient). Prepping for the worst sucks, sorta a depressing process. But also very responsible and everything that can make things smoother is welcome.

      I’ve made my wife beneficiary in all my accounts (HYSA, 401k, Equtiy). I’ve also made her a joint owner in my primary checking and misc credit cards we use for groceries and such.

      We’ve gone through the effort of checking accounts and verifying passwords on services and such. There’s probably still a million things I could do better or have overlooked, but having those taken care of yields a whole lot of comfort.

      Next up for me is filing a detailed advanced directive with the hospital. Best wishes. Hugs.

    6. Weekly_Forever2582 on

      First off, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this – can’t imagine how tough that must be

      Your emergency fund looks solid and having that money set aside for bucket list stuff is honestly the right call. Maybe look into whether your wife qualifies for disability benefits if she hasn’t already, that could help with the monthly cash flow

      The HSA is clutch since medical expenses are probably gonna be brutal – definitely keep maxing that out

    7. joepez on

      Sorry to hear for your wife and her situation. I lost a friend to brain cancer. One of the best (if there is such a thing) he did was make sure his family was in the best position financially after his passing. He spent time ensuring any debt died with him, that assets were transferred in a protected way and that all paperwork was documented and available. If you can afford a lawyer it’s worth working with one to get it all resolved now. 

      The other thing he did was spend time with family and friends living his life his way. He couldnt work to the last day. That’s impossible with most cancers an especially brain. They went on trips, do activities and spent time. 

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