I’m $162k in private student loan debt for a $40k loan from 20 years ago. I feel like my life insurance is worth more than I am.

I need to vent, but I also need to know if there is any way out of this nightmare.

Over 20 years ago, when I was 18, I took out what I thought were standard student loans through Sallie Mae. I didn't realize they were private. I didn't understand what "adjustable rate" meant. I borrowed $40,000.

Since then, I have paid back roughly $40,000—the entire principal. Yet today, because the interest rates were immediately jacked up to over 12% and stayed there, I now owe $162,000.

The interest accrues faster than I can possibly pay. They want $1,600 a month. Because of my credit score and the debt-to-income ratio, I can’t refinance or consolidate. I’m told I can’t discharge them in bankruptcy and there are no forgiveness programs because they are private.

I feel trapped. I feel like I’ll never be able to give my wife and kids a good home or a stable life. I’m carrying this massive weight of guilt, acting like everything is fine while it’s all burning down around me. I know I’m not the only one this happened to, but it feels like there’s no help coming.

Honestly, there are days where the math makes it feel like my life insurance policy is worth more to my family than I am. I would never actually leave them, I’m a fighter and I’ll keep going for them, but the fact that the thought even crosses my mind shows how soul-crushing this is.

Has anyone successfully dealt with these old private Sallie Mae/Navient/MOHELA loans? Are there legal avenues, settlement strategies, or literally anything I can do besides watching this number grow until I die?