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    Why Alphabet Is an Absolutely Safe Investment in 2026 (100% Confirmed)


    Hi everyone,

    I’m currently traveling through Southeast Asia and had the chance to visit various Chinese and Buddhist temples. In one of the temples, I saw several people handling two crescent-shaped wooden blocks, repeatedly tossing them onto the ground and noting how they landed.

    My curiosity was piqued, and after a bit of research I found out that these are so-called jiaobei (moon blocks). They can be used to ask the gods simple yes/no questions. Depending on how the moon crescents land, they represent different answers.

    Now, we all know that technical analysis is really just the modern man’s oracle. So I thought: who, if not the gods themselves, could reliably tell me whether I should hold Alphabet in 2026 or not?

    So I took two wooden blocks, properly introduced myself to the gods in accordance with the rules, name and date of birth, and then asked my question: “Should I hold my Alphabet shares in 2026?” I tossed them, and they landed on Xiàojiǎo (笑筊), the so-called laughing answer. So the gods laughed at me and my question, because the answer is obvious and more than clear. After all, as we all know, stocks only go up, and that applies to Alphabet too. So I will be holding my Alphabet shares in 2026.

    This is explicitly not investment advice from me, but from the gods.

    I wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year.

    TL;DR: Even the gods laugh at people who consider selling their Alphabet shares in 2026.

    Why Alphabet Is an Absolutely Safe Investment in 2026 (100% Confirmed)
    byu/ObiKenobii inwallstreetbets



    Posted by ObiKenobii

    View 37 Comments

    37 Comments

    3. salty_economics7 on

      Yes, Nvidia is a bubble and alphabet sits on top of it. When the bubble pops is when goog will launch towards the moon.

    7. True_Ingenuity_9747 on

      Bro really went all the way to Southeast Asia just to get financial advice from some wooden blocks 💀

      This is peak WSB energy though, I respect the dedication to finding new ways to lose money

    10. Clear_Anything1232 on

      I’m not so convinced. I think goog is a safer bet. Alphabet sounds like a scam company.

    13. BoofinChicknTendies on

      All you had to say was 100% confirmed. I have little doubt this number is fabricated.

    24. progmakerlt on

      It sounds like solid research and a good DD. It is definitely worth investing my money in this, based on this research.

    27. Hungry-Kick1389 on

      The bottom line is we are about to experience another round of stonks going up because the Fed is about to start pumping new money into the economy. Regardless of valuations, the companies with healthy businesses will benefit the most, GOOGL included. Not only GOOGL, but most mega caps will rise higher. How much? Nobody knows. But with the macro variables aside, GOOGL is healthy. Search advertising, AI, YouTube, Waymo, chip development, hardware, it’s a safe bet

    28. Burnned_User on

      So here’s the full breakdown in astrological projections Q1 26’:

      Around Jan 26: Inner tensions between logic/instinct — Saturn–Pluto semi-square (interpretive emphasis on structural transformation). 

      Jan 27: Mars conjunct Pluto in Aquarius — intense, empowered action energy.

      Feb 11: Mercury conjunct North Node in Pisces — thought patterns directed toward collective purpose. 

      Feb 13: Saturn enters Aries — structural energy moving toward individual assertion. 

      Feb 20: Saturn conjunct Neptune in Aries — blending discipline and imagination. 

      Feb 22: Venus trine Jupiter (Rx) — supportive, expansive relationships/values. 

      Feb 25 – Mar 20: Mercury retrograde in Pisces — reflection, reassessment, intuition emphasis. 

      Mar 3, 2026 — Total Lunar Eclipse in Virgo.

      Mar 7: Mercury cazimi — communication clarity. 

      Mar 13: Mars conjunct North Node in Pisces — action aligned with destiny/emotional currents. 

      Mar 17: Mercury Rx conjunct North Node — deeper reflection on purpose. 

      Mar 18: Venus square Jupiter — tension between values/desires vs growth/expansion. 

      Mar 21: Mars trine Jupiter — confidence and drive. 
      Mar 22: Neptune cazimi — spiritual/creative insights. 

      Mar 25: Saturn cazimi — mature focus on structure/responsibility.

      If you overlay that with the SP500 futures, it’ll map out a somewhat volatile Q1 but in a direction that favors Tarus.

      ChatGPT tells me my Tarot card for 2026 is Card VI — The Lovers

      “2026 = Universal Year 1
      2 + 0 + 2 + 6 = 10 → 1

      A Year 1 always begins a brand-new cycle.
      The first quarter of a Year 1 is about choice, alignment, and the birth of a new identity.

      This isn’t only about romance — it’s about values, decisions, and choosing your future.

      Primary theme: A crossroads that defines the next 9 years.

      The Lovers is about alignment, not impulse.

      🔑 The Deeper Lesson

      The life you start in 2026 depends on the choice you make in Q1.

      This is a threshold quarter — once crossed, your trajectory changes.”

      So Q1 will crucially define the momentum for the rest of my trading year.

    31. hopefulgroundnut on

      This is peak strategy, i can finally blame the block of wood for my worst trade decisions.

    37. AcademicStandard3701 on

      After this DD I’d gladly buy a new 52 week high of Googl and wont cry if it crashes.

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