When I was growing up my parents kinda just gave me money when I needed it (which I am grateful for). They never thought me how to save or really instilled in my brain how important it is to keep money rather than spending it on whatever. I moved out about 3 years ago and I’ve been working, but after a while I felt like all my money was constantly gone within days of getting payed.
I’m never late on bills but I also fail miserably at saving money. I really want to but it seems like every time I save more than 100$ I take from my savings account on necessity’s (gas/groceries) because I’ve spent all my money on bs. It’s like I get my check, pay my bills then I’m left with 100-300$ until my next check. I try to save anywhere from 10-50$ depending on how much I have left. But then inevitably I wind up spending all my money within the week. Usually it’s on stupid shit (in app purchases for games, “sweet treats”, morning energy drinks I don’t actually need, paying for dinner, etc). When I do it I always have money, but then obviously I run out because I’m spending it.
I also just spend money when I’m upset. Like if I have an argument with my boyfriend/family I’ll go and buy self care items (non essentials), or other things. I don’t know how to stop. I’ve tried deleting apps (games I’ve purchased items in, DoorDash, etc) but I either spend on something else or cave and get the apps again. I’ve also tried deleting my profiles from the apps to add extra steps so maybe I’ll just not do it but that also hasn’t worked. I’ve also tried using two seperate bank accounts (one from a local bank when I was in high school for my first job and another one I opened when I moved for better accessibility) but I just wind up using both of them.
I want it to be as easy as just telling myself no and not doing it but it’s like an impulse. I don’t know how to explain it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, or maybe methods to stop me from reaching into savings? – also I didn’t know if this was the correct place to post this? If not where would a good place be?
I have a spending habit/addiction and I don’t know how to stop.
byu/SignificanceTrue124 inpersonalfinance
Posted by SignificanceTrue124
6 Comments
Hey, I feel you on this. The emotional spending is real – whenever I’m mad or stressed I used to blow money on the dumbest stuff just to feel better for like 5 minutes
One thing that helped me was literally removing my cards from apps and not saving payment info anywhere. Yeah it’s annoying to type it in every time but that extra friction actually works. Also try the envelope method but digitally – as soon as you get paid, immediately transfer your savings and bill money to separate accounts so you physically can’t touch it
The impulse thing is hard but it gets easier once you start catching yourself doing it
If you’re going to buy anything over $50 wait 48 hours to do it
There’s no hack to make impulse control easy.
But you can make it more difficult to spend money. Take your credit card off your phone or delete the apps which you regularly use to spend money. Transfer a set amount of money out of your checking into a high yield savings/brokerage account every month and genuinely do not learn how to transfer it back.
You need to remove the temptation before you can fix the habit. If you have your credit card info saved in your browser, clear it out. Start by deleting those shopping apps and clearing your saved card info so you can’t just buy stuff on impulse. Try waiting 24 hours where you leave things in the cart and see if you still need it after. Usually, you won’t.
Therapy!
It sounds like you’re using shopping/spending to deal with difficult situations. And now it’s what you turn to when you’re feeling down.
Therapy (which you can usually find someone covered by your insurance) is a great place to learn better, more healthy coping mechanisms than spending to manage difficult situations.
Aside from that, removing triggers (subscription emails, removing saved payment methods, deleting shopping apps, etc) will be a good first step, followed by a budget so you can engage in moderated spending. Find a hobby or something you can do to replace the void that is filled with spending.
The concept of a no-buy (where you don’t buy anything in a specific category for a specified amount of time) is great for the short term as a “detox”, but be careful as it doesn’t solve the underlying problems as to *why* you spend, is slightly unrealistic (because the goal isn’t to never spend again), and because of that may ultimately land you in a binge/starvation cycle.
Honestly, if the basic ways to stop impulse spending have failed the next step probably is to look into therapy.
In the meantime you might be able to force save by opening an account at a different bank, not creating an online profile, and direct deposit what you want to save into that account. Or at the very least pick a bank that has no local locations and pick an account that doesn’t have a card or checks attached to it so you’d need to way for an ACH transfer to go through to get the money.