hi everyone. i never post on here but i think i need some kind of outlet because i don’t feel i have anyone to talk to about this. and maybe someone will feel comforted that they aren’t struggling alone.
i took out both private and public student loans for college — i have a 4.29 gpa and yet no schools offered me a full ride, and i believed at 18 that because i was so academically successful, i could only “go up.” that and the fact that my mom often advised me that everyone had loans, so to apply for scholarships but i might as well take out what i needed.
5 years later i graduate, after suffering through school interrupted by COVID, the world’s fonances faling apart, etc etc. and then i get an okay job, one that affected my mental health really badly but i suffered through it because i could pay my bills. however, during that time i learn how bad payments were. I was paying $800–$1000 a month sometimes, and for the money i was making, it was a hit but not devastating. well fast forward two years after i get that job, i get fired. i was working for a big shot artist whose ego got hurt after i started establishing boundaries in the worklace, and she basically fired me without proper process. whatever. couldn’t sue. my brain wouldn’t allow me.
fast forward again. it’s been a year that i’ve been searching for a job. really almost two as i started searching before i got fired, but i am just not able to catch up. i’m freelancing and doing odd jobs but i’m basically living tiny paycheck to paycheck. and i haven’t been able to make payments over the past year whatsoever. and now i find myself pretty overwhelmed and frozen. it feels like i made a deal with the devil just because i wanted to do things in life. i tried for a long time to work with private creditors to delay payments, but i don’t think they care if you live or die. i’m just dumbfounded that we live in such a terrible set up. i mean, in hogh school, we were told to go to the best schools to ensure our future, and most jobs haven’t even asked to see my diploma. the job market is in shambles and it feels like ai is wiping out industry after industry. i don’t know what to do anymore, and i’m trying to hold onto hope but i feel so hopeless. and worse is i feel stupid. like i should’ve known, but i was 18 and full of dreams and now i’m older and so much more jaded.
anyway, thanks for reading if you did.
ranting for my own sanity
byu/Subject-Ear-1858 inStudentLoans
Posted by Subject-Ear-1858
2 Comments
Times are tough, no doubt. But if you are open to a suggestion, here goes. Someone with a 4.29 GPA should be able to compose with proper punctuation and non-sentence run-ons. If your resume’ looks anything like this, you need to find a way to make it better.
Everyone in college the last 5+ years had it interrupted by COVID, so you can’t really use that as an excuse.
It’s called adulting, and you can’t blame your mom, the schools that didn’t offer a “free ride”, or the lousy jobs you got fired from. Take charge of your life and decide YOU will make it better. Accountability will go a long way.
Best of luck.
At this point I would consider what you’re describing as the “standard” experience for your cohort.
My prescription for you is Savi or some other student loan assistance organization and some Dave Ramsey if you want help from someone else and feel completely lost.
Really though, the goal is to get organized, control the chaos a bit, create a plan, get a job, start paying things back, eat beans and rice, and eventually raise your salary. This *can* all be done over time, so don’t give up.