Just got approved for futures on Robinhood, no tutorial nothing. Thought I was buying long on /MESM26, somehow shorted -1 @ 6804.
Packed a bowl, started gooning, passed out. Woke up to the market tanking and my position is now at 6661. I’m up like $700+ but have zero clue how to close this shit. Every button feels like it’ll make it worse.
Do I just sell to close? Reverse? Hold forever? Anticipate the oil reserves going dry and the potential societal collapse and become the poor version of Jesse Livermore?
I’m literally shaking rn bros send help before I fat finger something worse. Screenshot of the -1 contract @ 6804 …now 6661.
TL;DR: retard + weed + goon session = accidental short in a crash. What button do I hit to get out??
https://i.redd.it/jg2wt3z3svpg1.jpeg
Posted by _Doomer_Wojack_
24 Comments
Just jizz on the screen it’ll automatically sense your happiness and auto sell
There’s literally an ‘exit and cancel all’ button lol. You can also just buy +1 so you’re back at 0. Both get rid of your -1 and bring you to nothing imvested
Stop loss?
Step#1: In this case, you BUY to close and exit the position. Make sure to enter 1 for the number of contracts.
Step#2: watch a few videos on youtube about how to trade futures on Robinhood and how leverage works.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 good shit bro
This how I found futes too minus the gooning part.
I’m shaking for you, laughing 😂 shaking.
Who writes this 💩.
Just hit cancel, regard !!!
Click on future, click close all at the middle..Done.
Buy to close
If you know who Jesse Livermore is, I suspect you know more than you’re letting on. He should be the mascot of this sub lol
It’s literally one button dude
You fucking regard
Close Position / BUY 1 contract (market, unless you want to close it at a certain price and then limit)
All you have to do now is buy a contract and your position will close
Shit, so this is how you make money?
You inversed yourself on accident and made money. Take note
Next time you’re being regarded, send that money to me. I’ll blow it on Wendy’s hookers.
You made my day .. thx for laughs.
“Packed a bowl, started gooning, passed out. Woke up to the market tanking” – Lmao
Glad I’m not the only one here learning to trade futures (/MNG) while stoned to the bone. Godspeed brother.
this mf man, lmao
Shoulda went long Oil instead
Beautiful how the word gooning has made cool the act of pitifully jelqing yourself to a clear drop of ejaculate from inside a cold, dark, lonely, income limited apartment.
In all sincerity, check out the book Winning the Losers Game.
You are better off buying scratchers to dick around with than try and outsmart the market while blitzed out of your gord. You aren’t lucky and aren’t using logic.