I’m trying to talk myself off the ledge

I have about $50k in student loans and the same in retirement accounts. I’m feeling so much distress over payments starting back up post-SAVE that I sometimes feel the impulse to just pay the student loans with the retirement and be done with it. The distress is coming from monthly payment options that are too high and unsustainable especially as a W2 contractor (i.e. my job is not a guarantee). But I know that’s not the right choice and it may feel like it would provide relief but then I might just transfer the stress to now starting at $0 with retirement. Which is not ideal because I’m early 30s and technically should have more than what I have in retirement accounts. Still, I feel real fear when it comes to these student loans, interest accruing fast and wondering if I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life while also dealing with chronic health conditions.