51M recently paid off ALL my debts. Started to contribute regularly to a TFSA ETF. No RRSP yet but working on that, with my increase in cash flow.
I started dating someone, after my divorce 6 years ago. We have been together now for a year and live in our own places. I am in this mode of saving EVERYTHING now.. very stingy, have created a budget that I am following to a T. She is a great person, but is extremely liberal with her money. I can see this as being a challenge going forward, but I do not want to cause conflict in the relationship.
What would be the best way to handle this? I like spending time with her but do not want to spend money I 'don't have' and get into any debt.
Living a frugal lifestyle in the GTA
byu/Then_Log5708 inFrugal
Posted by Then_Log5708
7 Comments
Talk about this with her ASAP. If your financial goals don’t align, this will never work.
You might want to have an open, non-judgmental conversation about shared values and long-term goals. Discuss free or low-cost activities you can enjoy together, and set clear personal boundaries for spending so you can stay debt-free while maintaining the relationship.
Grand theft auto?
I’m a female that is identical to you, little younger but also live in the GTA and know how expensive it can be for a person living on their own.
I think from the female prospective you really just need to have a frank discussion with your partner and tell her about your financial goals and where exactly your logic lies.
Most reasonable people understand with the current economy, retirement likely within 2 decades and a divorce in your past – that finances are different now then when you were twenty.
I find people get upset or misjudge when they don’t completely understand your financial views, but once explained fully (with openness) usually people are pretty understanding, even if their goals are not your own.
Here is the thing though. If you don’t want to lose your partner and still want her to feel special then you have to step up and think of creative and fun things to do to keep the spark alive and the dating fun.
Don’t be someone that’s sits in front of the tv for every date to save money and expect her to be ok with it. There are SO many cheap dating options if you use your imagination.
The last little bit was just speaking from personal perspective, boring dating would lose me far faster than economical dating.
I totally thought you meant GTA as in Grand Theft Auto and I was like “heck yeah, dude! Being frugal even in video games!” Anyway, I am very proud of you for being frugal, and I am sorry you’re going through this.
Just one tip, when asking for advice, maybe don’t use so many acronyms. Not everyone knows what you are talking about with them.
To be honest, looks like your life is very much about being frugal and saving money. Which is totally fine but that’s not for everyone. I don’t really see how you two can find a common ground, that’s a big lifestyle and mindset differences.