I grew up in a frugal family, so I’m very careful with money and rarely waste anything. Now that I’m an adult with a decent income, I don’t really know what to do with it or how to spend it. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with money, so I’m not sure what “normal” people do to enjoy it.
Growing up frugal made me good with money, but I don’t know how to enjoy it
byu/Defiant_bored inpersonalfinance
Posted by Defiant_bored
11 Comments
I’m the same but I push myself to spend on experiences and not junk i don’t need.
Kinda the same way. I get really nice feelings from saving money and seeing big balances in my accounts lol.
I sat down and decided what I hate spending money on – so I could scratch my “cutting back” itch on those things, and what I liked spending money on – and made some simple rules to force myself to buy things in that category.
1.) I buy a gadget of some kind for the house every month OR save up to buy a specific more expensive gadget (chainsaw for example). Or maybe a fancy soup bowl we had at a restaurant (not to mention salsa dishes lol).
2.) I read a lot. I try to get in an hour a day if I can – I buy one book a month no matter what. I have an amazon wish list filled with books and I just buy one at random every month, and I add more all the time.
3.) I listen to music a lot and like to buy albums. I buy one a month – I do the same wish list thing.
4.) I have a 1000$ slush fund that buys bigger experiences (small vacations every few months or concert tickets). Then I go back to replenishing it – which scratches that “I’m saving money” itch again.
**You can spend money WITH CONTROL**. Don’t let saving and frugality hinder you from enjoying life. Live. Love. Enjoy. You might want to try out traveling. Just set aside a budget for it, so you don’t overspend. And stick with the budget.
Collecting money is the best hobby there is. You don’t have to enjoy the money. Money gives you security and options in life. Keep it up.
Budgeting helps because not only does it help you know what not to waste money on but also what fun stuff it’s okay to spend money on! I started using YNAB (you need a budget) and it’s letting me see where my money is going. I started it just to give me an understanding, I don’t have debt, and it’s made it like “oh wow look what I have left after all my savings and bills, it’s okay to do this fun thing!”
Don’t be “normal”. Figure out what you value, truly value across all the various dimensions of life, and work towards that. Don’t try to imitate what others do just to be “normal”. Use your resources to vote in the manner by which you believe the world would be better, by your standard. Sometimes that requires taking a step back, and thinking about what that would be. You are now a steward, and you have the greatest job in the world, deciding where to devote those resources. It’s the greatest thing in the world, the responsibility is very fulfilling.
I don’t like buying physical stuff, but experiences are good.
Do you have hobbies? For example you can hire a tutor to teach you better than you would yourself. It’s also an investment in yourself and your skills.
Same, when I started to make more money, I ratcheted up my IRA contributions. Then once that was maxed I started increasing my personal stock investments. I don’t really spend much regardless. And from my upbringing, I’ve learned and internalized that Im okay with living very frugally. Even my hobbies are pretty cheap.
What I will do sometimes is splurge, for better or for worse. Usually my big spends are on experiences. I’ll take big vacations and spend without really thinking twice. I’ll go to concerts or music shows with friends, dinners, or other social activities. But I’m a home body that hoards my money and tries to live minimally.
Maybe if I had kids it might be different.
do the things that will make u happy. try the thing u wanted to try but didnt because of budgeting. now that ive healthy income i still go to the same restuarant but much more often and now im able to add a $2.75 instant noodle without second thought. im very happy.
I have an account specifically for splurging. I put a certain amount into it from each paycheck and it gives me the safe boundaries I need in order to be comfortable spending on something that’s not required.
Try to budget a few fun things into your life. Try going to a play or concert at Christmas (maybe gift a ticket to your mom and take her to dinner too, make it annual). Plan an inexpensive trip to the mountains, beach or a new city. Budget in a cool event or experience while you are there (NYC, Empire State Building, MOMA, great pizza, show). If you do that you won’t feel like you are wasting money. It’s hard, I’m frugal because I’m going to retire and I’m scared of ending up a burden on my kids.