Last couple of months I started my frugal lifestyle. I primarely want to pay off a bit of leftover debt, start saving, and i want to DYI my appartment (which can be costy—a lot of stuff started falling apart)
However, the way i have been spending money last couple of years taught people around me, that i am up for anything, that i can buy anything, i can travel anywhere—which i used to do, and led me to live pay check to pay check. I earn decent amount of money, where i live people could say I i am higher-upper class.
Now I started saying No, and everyone is suprised. Everyone thinks why I became so cheap: how come i dont have anything saved, how come i cannot afford, pay mortgage, debt, buy ticket to Italy and buy proper bed and cushions…
I dont want to lose those few good friends around me, but at the same time, i dont know how to somtimes say NO—i wont buy that ticket for concert. I often opt in so they dont think of me something less, or bad.
Anyone has similiar experience moving from high spending to frugality?
I am trying to be frugal, but sociaty has different expectations
byu/allmeiti inFrugal
Posted by allmeiti
6 Comments
Pro tip: Do you. Stop caring what others think. They clearly don’t have your best interests in mind.
My friend used to say” I’ll pass, I’m on a Strict financial diet.” I told people “ next 6 months, I’m in conserve mode.” May be 2 years, but stating 6 months was a deterrent to comments. You have to find easy comebacks.
Your true friends will understand, they may not be pleased that you’re skipping a friends trip but if you explain you’re getting serious to save money and payoff debt, they’ll cheer you on. Look for ways to hang out or connect without the focus being spending money.
However, if you don’t explain why and just change your whole personality around money they might get confused or push back because it’s just like you were.
Some people won’t like your changes either because they feel guilt on their own spending, or wanted you to pick up their tab or whatever. These people will rag you or sabotage your process and they are not friends.
> I dont want to lose those few good friends around me
You have to choose between your needs, and their happiness. You cannot have it both ways.
Remember that you are part of society… so don’t take the ease road and blame society for an expectation. That’s just an illusion. If you are happy being frugal, then live up to your own expectations.
Don’t worry about them. You will have a new place and more money when this journey is all over
If you have to, explain you have goals and they don’t include concerts.
Money management is a very grown up thing and they may not be ready to grow up as yet