I finally paid them off.

These godforsaken loans caused me so much stress and shame and upset throughout my 20s and 30s. I started at around $50k. I thought at various points that they'd be with me forever. One time I just stopped paying them for months and let them default, then clawed my way back from the brink of bankruptcy. I started making better money around age 35 and started paying on them more aggressively. I finally started saving for retirement and slowed down on loan repayment once I got rid of the high interest private ones, the total left was about $25k. I went back and forth the last couple of years on whether to pay the rest of them off all at once, since at an average of 5.5% interest, the same money invested in index funds would probably grow more than the loans would cost. But a couple weeks ago I decided I'd had enough. I'm turning 40 in a couple months and wanted to turn the page. There's a decent chance I'll get laid off in the next year because of the current administration's policies, and I don't want these loans hanging over me during a period of unemployment. So I sold some index funds and paid them all off. They're gone. I strangely felt anxiety about it right after I did it. And now, a couple weeks later, I'm just starting to realize how much of a relief it really is to be done with these things.

Nobody should have this kind of debt strapped to them at age 18. And I'd absolutely support mass debt forgiveness even though I've paid mine off now. Because it's grotesque that our government profits off of young people's dreams of being productive, educated members of society. It's disgusting that these loans follow you to the grave and can't be forgiven in bankruptcy.

Anyway, mine are gone now. Good riddance, and get bent, Nelnet.