My (18f) dad (59m) just got laid off today. I'm scared about what's going to happen to our family and I feel like it's selfish to say this but my college tuition. My mom still works but this change will take my parent's combine salary about 150k ($250k to less than 100k) and I'm not confident about the job market. I attend my state college (~36k per year) and my mom already has a little over 100k saved up for it. But, we also have mortgage, HOA fees, insurance, supporting three children (including me), etc. plus leftover debt from years prior. I don't think I can reapply for FAFSA this year but I just don't know what to do or how to help. I know that 100k per year is still very fortunate and I'm still in a very fortunate position but I'm in shock and a little scared. I hate to say this but I have generally lived a very comfortable life and just don't know how to move forward to help alleviate the costs for my family
EDIT: after deducting extra housing/meal plan costs and indirect costs, it came down to 36k (original post said 50k), I'm sorry about the exaggerating the cost of attendance, i wrote this is a panic without thinking too clearly.
Dad of college student got laid off
byu/im_the_beforepicture inpersonalfinance
Posted by im_the_beforepicture
29 Comments
short and sweet – it’s not your problem. Your dad is an adult, and he’s been through so much already. He’ll be able to figure this out. You just need to continue with your education and work towards becoming independent as best you can. You got this! Your dad’s got this too! And your dad has your mom’s support.
State college is 50k a year? Jesus christ wtf. Is that out of state tuition with room and board?
50k a year…. I would do the basics at a community college and try to finish at the state school.
It’s going to be fine.
Don’t they have savings beyond the college fund if they were making $250k a year and were near retirement age?
Your school may have relief options given the change in your family’s income, aside from updating the fafsa. I’d start there before you jump to other options like private loans
Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. Life is full of complications like this. Once you’re past it, you realize it’s a character building moment. Y’all do what makes the most sense to you in the moment and keep going forward.
Talk to financial aid office and ask for a special circumstance appeal. No guarantee the adjustment would be enough, but it may help.
Hold up, your in-state public college costs $50K/yr?
Regardless, contact your school’s financial aid office. You might qualify for aid you didn’t before, or you may be able to adjust your FAFSA.
https://studentaid.gov/help-center/answers/article/what-if-my-family-s-financial-situation-has-changed
OP just woke middle-class blue collar and didn’t like the view… Good. Now hold on to that feeling the next time you even think about voting for anyone who wants to cut social service benefits. Imagine your family made $100k and then dad got laid off your family had to survive on $40k. Let that sink in OP. It sucks. I hope you finish your studies.
Advice: be supportive of your parents, especially your dad. A lot of his identity is likely rooted in providing for his family. He is more worried about it than you are, and the last thing he needs is to get more piled on him from you.
Your worst-case scenario is that you have to get a job and help pay for your education, just like 90% of your classmates do. Maybe suggest that you’re happy to help out and remind him that it won’t affect your success.
What state college is 50k per year??
State college $50K a year? What state is this? I just checked California Stage College is $8K a year with out of state at $18K a year….
$50K/year for a state school? I have kids at state schools and it’s like $15K for tuition, room, meals, etc. $50K seems way too high.
How involved are you in the family finances? It sounds like you have some awareness but if you are not fully across it all I would not stress about a situation your parents may be well covered for. Best option right now in my opinion is talk to your parents about your concerns and stressors, hopefully they can give you some reassurance that everything is in hand. Your dad is nearing retirement age and may even welcome the layoff.
You have the ability to take care of yourself regardless of what happens. Do you have the will to do so?
50k is crazy for public in state
I paid 14k in 2020 for Idaho State University with room, board, and books and no financial aid
Your first appt. should be your college financial aid office and lay it all out on the line. These are people whose full time job is to do nothing but help you.
50K a year for an in state college sounds like too much, does that cover room and board? I would start the process of transferring to a reasonably priced in state public 4 year.
If not, get a full time job, i worked nights in a warehouse in college. Half way through I switched to working mornings at an event center 6-2:30 that made less but i worked with other college kids, I ate for free and I slept regular hours. If you can make $15 an hour that will be around $100K in 4 years.
$100K from your parents is beyond generous, don’t ask for another dollar.
Apply for any scholarship you think you would qualify for make it your part time job, also getting student loans and a part time job. It will hard but, know that you can do it as many have done it before you.
As people have said, most of this is a decision for your parents. It’ll be a tough time, give each other a lot of love and patience. And ask them what you can do to help. See if they’ll sit down with you and run through the numbers and show you how to work a family budget, it’s a very important life skill
Just go give him a big hug and tell him you are proud of him and he will get through it. Whatever you are feeling I promise you it’s a 100 times worse for him. Having just been through this myself it was my kids that motivated me to go get a better job as difficult as it was. Make him a nice dinner, go on a walk with him. Tell him you love him.
I was laid off during COVID with a kid in college and two in high school. It was hard but we got through it and my kid’s college was not affected. That’s a whole separate savings account, and between unemployment, savings, and cuts in other areas, we were fine. Don’t panic.
My senior year of college was the year my dad decided he’d had enough and straight up quit his job. I had two younger siblings. One just starting college and one in highschool.
My first thought was: oh fuck!
But then I collected myself and thought: im almost done, I need to finish strong, get a job, and take care of myself and the rest will sort itself out.
All of that happened.
My dad floated around unemployed for almost a year but eventually landed at a place he loved and ended up being way more happy and successful there (after his little mid-life freakout) than he would have before.
Best thing you can do is take care of yourself so your parents don’t have to. But they will even if you don’t.
It’ll work out. Someday. Somehow.
“Surrender to the unknown, and the unknown will be kind” — words of wisdom that helps me tremendously in moments like these.
What state college is 50k per year? Hope you are getting a useful degree.
Unemployed father for the last year- same income drop: Stay In School.
Yes jobs suck right now. I guarantee you tho *not* having a degree won’t make it easier.
That said, I don’t know what you’re doing, but please make sure it is something with ’employable’ on it. That means No English Lit.
If you’re 18 I assume you’re taking mostly Gen eds? Is there any way you can do them at a community college and just save the money?
This isn’t your problem. Your current semester is paid for. Go to your school financial aid office and explain the situation. They may be able to help.
Worst case, you may have to get a part-time job during the school year and work summers, or transfer to a community college for a couple of years, then transfer back to the university. Look for scholarships. Join ROTC. There are lots of options to help pay for your schooling.
Go to your financial aid office and tell them your circumstances have substantially changed. See whether they can find some relief for you
I am the dad of a college student, and lost my job at the beginning of the year. I had the same concerns from my kiddo.
Your dad is going through a lot. As much as you are worried about what you’re going to do, your dad is worried about how you and your family are going to be affected.
Look for things you can do to lighten the load of others. If there’s some chore your dad does and you have the bandwidth to do it, silently pick it up. Take things off your dad’s plate if you can, so he can focus on recovering himself and planning next steps.
Be open about your worries, but be aware of your phrasing.
For example, my kid has a bunch of health issues, and is worried about insurance. It really stressed me out when they asked “have you found a job yet? Are you applying anywhere?” It felt like blame, that I was failing them, and was incredibly upsetting.
However, phrasing it as “I’m worried about my healthcare, do you have a plan, or is there anything I can do to help with planning?” doesn’t have the connotation. I can answer that one easily.
Things are going to change, and it will take some time to chart a new course. but you, him, and your family will all be okay.