My 82 year old mother backed into my parked car in her driveway while my 15 year old son was sitting in the drivers seat.
I was in the bathroom with my 3 year old helping her when I hear her holler she needs to go run her errand and I told them it be just 1 minute until I finished up in there.
She says, “why don’t you let Adam move your car. He gets his license in 6 days anyway, it’s just moving it out of that way.”
I foolishly said “I guess that’s ok, but I will be done in literally less than a minute.” (Not wanting to make my son think I don’t have confidence in his driving skills).
He goes to do so and not 2 mins later he runs back in, “oh no Mom!!”
Turns out he had hopped into my car to move it, didn’t even have the key in the ignition yet and she rammed into my car. No lights on yet, nothing.
He hops out in a panic. “I didn’t even have a chance to move it yet!! You hit Mom’s car!”
She simply says, “Oh, well. I can’t see that well at night, you should know that. Can you move it?”
He moves it, parks behind my dad’s car. I may add he parks very, very well. Perfectly centered behind his. Ample room between my car and his.
My mom drove off before he even finished parking it.
He ran in and told me exactly what happened.
This woman has already been in a wreck once this year and drove into the garage door somehow.
Anyway, two hours later, no apology from her. My dad downplayed the situation and said, “she can’t see well at night”.
My car blinker was touch and go, now it no longer works at all. There are scratches all over my bumper, my license plate is ____ & will need to be replaced and my grill is cracked.
My question is should I give them a chance to pay me for the damage or should I just file with their insurance? I’m already thinking now that she’s a safety risk to the public so I should probably report her just on those grounds. It’s a pretty decent amount of damage.
What’s the right thing to do? I think I know but part of me feels bad. I’m pretty sure they won’t want me to file with their insurance because of points, deductible cost all that.
Should I file a claim against my 82 year old mother?
byu/Fearless-Cupcake828 inInsurance
Posted by Fearless-Cupcake828
17 Comments
No
You can actually call and anonymously report her for being a danger on the road to DMV. Just google potentially unsafe driver report and they’ll look into the person after you send in your letter. As for making a claim, I’d personally tell them to pay for the damages and if they refuse I’d report to insurance. That way you give them a chance to make it right but it doesn’t sound like they would.
I’ll probably change my mind when im 80, but 80+ year old shouldn’t be allowed to drive. Otherwise, yea, up to you, not like she has to pay insurance much longer, I know not helpful.
By the sounds of it, your mother should not be driving any longer. She is a hazard on the road and an accident waiting to happen. She could end up in a serious accident where she could kill an innocent person or even herself. If you are worried about your mother’s insurance rates, don’t. Shen they take away her operator’s license due to her diminished driving skills, she’ll no longer need an an automobile insurance policy
Get an estimate to learn how much it will cost to fix your car. Let your parents decide if they want to pay out of pocket or file a claim on their auto policy (no deductible.) Most likely their auto policy will be non-renewed with 3 incidents in 1 year. A new policy will cost much more. If your dad doesn’t drive, maybe this will be incentive to sell their car and learn to Uber before your mom kills someone when she’s driving at night and “can’t see well.”
My mother-in-law drove until she couldn’t walk. She drove like a freaking teenager. It took her less time to go 200 miles than me. I believe that it really depends on the person not the age.
Does your mom perhaps need cataract surgery?
Not sure what state you’re in, but in California you can report her to the DMV driver safety division. She will get a letter in the mail and have to go to the local DMV office. Probably take a written test and then behind the wheel test. She won’t know who reported her. We’re actually thinking about doing it to my mother because she’s in a similar boat and probably shouldn’t be driving and no one wants to be the bad guy.
My FIL was driving and hit an Amish buggy from behind. His eyes were getting bad and he still had his license. The Amish woman broke her arm, but it could have been way worse. After that he lost his license. I’d report to your insurance before she runs over someone.
The answer to this question is based on your relationship with your mother, how much you love her and what kind of person you are and how you solve your problems.
Could you convince her to give up her license and sell the car in exchange for not reporting her or having her pay for the damages? Maybe convince her to take a road test so she can see how badly her driving abilities have slipped.
give her a chance to pay it first.
File a claim and get her off the road
what do you feel bad about?
Honestly, if she offers to help with the cost and you feel okay accepting it, fine. But if not? Don’t press. This isn’t the kind of situation where you file an insurance claim on your mom, especially not at her age. The damage to your car matters, sure, but the relationship matters more and this is one of those moments where you decide what you value most.
Honestly I would not want the family drama this is going to create. I would get an estimate and tell her what is going to cost you. It almost sounds like a temper tantrum type of action that can be a sign of dementia brain issues due to aging. I know I’m giving her an out but if you know they can’t afford the increase in premiums it is going to cause her due to her age bracket, I would just let my own insurance cover it. The drama in the family is not worth it. But I would keep a watch on her.
This is an example of why many insurance companies insist all members in the same household be listed on all policies in the household. What if it had been your son that backed into someone?