I'm a 30 yo (M). I want to become an entrepreneur. I'm not there yet but I have a plan. Right now, I'm an accounts assistant with the intention of becoming an accountant in a few years, somewhat supporting a single mum, trying to save at the same time and working a second job to save more.
I often contemplate why I'm working this hard in the first place. I will admit, I complain a lot. I'm finding this really hard but at the same time, I want to stop the complaining and just get on with it.
I compare myself to a lot of others – particularly people the same age as me who have it lucky – parents are together, no need to contribute to the house, not working 6-7 days a week like I am.
How did you guys not give up?
How did you stay focused and not complain?
How did you stop the negative thoughts?
How did you stop comparing yourself to others and accepted your fate?
What do you do to stay focused, stop worrying about others and believe that you are doing the right thing?
byu/BiarritzBlue inEntrepreneur
Posted by BiarritzBlue
5 Comments
How do you not give up? What’s the alternative? You can’t quit. So why think about it?
How do you stay focused and not complain? Complaining never solves anything. You can complain, but you’ll still be in the shit. Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. No complaints.
How do you stop the negative thoughts? Acknowledge them, and replace them with something else. Trying to ignore them will make them louder.
How do you stop comparing yourself to others? Comparison is the thief of joy (some dude smarter than me said that). Start comparing yourself to yourself. Are you growing? Are you getting better? If yes, GREAT! if not, see OODA above.
I feel like the security of not caring about what others think comes in one of two scenarios:
1) When you’ve made it (obviously).
2) When you know you are doing the right things and putting in the effort.
I guess the question would be: how to know if you’re doing the right things?
Start your plan! Anxiety and stress comes from inaction (I heard this from Jeff Bezos and never abandoned the idea).
Well, in entrepreneurship, you almost never know, that’s the beauty of it. You are most probably creating a new path to sucess.
I can relate to what you feel. I was not lucky. At the time I was a teenager, my parents’ marriage was breaking apart, and I felt like the last kid on Earth no one was interested in. I had to start earning serious money at an early age to feed myself, and only a bit later, use my money to help my parents get out of the debt trap. Becoming an Entrepreneur seemed to me like the only choice to escape the world of scarcity and poverty. I started my first company 22 years ago, and I can tell you, I fucked up a lot. I chose the wrong partners, was on the edge of bankruptcy several times, came into the market too early, and started and closed several brands, apps, and SaaS services. I survived burnout syndrome, panic attacks, and divorce after my wife cheated on me for more than a year. I was even once close to death after working 12 hours a day for 5 years in a row. Here comes the answer to all your questions. You can do much more than you think. Your body and mind are capable of incredible things if you accept one simple truth: If it is not life or death, it is just bullshit. You’re breathing, you’re healthy, start slowly but keep going. Don’t care about others, focus on yourself, and when you start doing your own business, focus on your customers. Make them your No. 1 priority, focus on them, make a bond with them, and keep them happy. The rest will follow.
Its not a straight path, some day we have hopes, energy and passion. The other day is dark, lack of motivation, tired or even drained. Take a break and get up the next day with zeal. For me, whenever I look at outcomes, I get demotivated, and whenever I see it as a “learning”, I get energy. Do every thing you can to be one step closer to your goal, even if the step is a tiny one.
I’ve learned that focus doesn’t come from motivation,it comes from clarity. When you’re clear about why you’re doing what you’re doing, the noise fades a bit. Everyone’s path looks different from the outside, but no one escapes the struggle. The comparison trap is endless, so I try to compare myself only to who I was a month ago.