I don’t know, I may be quite young and naive, but as of current, I have no interest in starting my own business or leading a group of people. I am currently a 7th semester Applied Computing student and I have taken a 3 month internship which is a 9-5. And honestly, even if I am uncomfortable of saying it, I feel that I fit better in a 9-5 than being my own entrepeneur.
But the thing is, my parents (particularly) my father, often say things that hurt me and make myself so worried about myself especially regarding my future. For context, my father runs an actuarial agency and back at the time expected me to continue it where he would fund my actuarial studies; in the end, I opened up and told him the harsh truth that I have no interest in actuarial science nor interest in entering the industry.
There was a time where we had a long months of arguments about what I said, and my father acting like he was planning to hold me like a chain to make sure I did, but in the end, my father let me pursue the major that I want, as long as I start my own business and not “work for someone else.”
I also have high anxiety, and I worry too much, and I doubt that my qualities make me a good entrepreneur. Plus, I live in a country where lots of businesses today are closing down due to our government’s economic policies, and yet lots of large companies in my country are facing a struggle.
I wouldn’t talk about this on the sub until yesterday my father questioned me what I would do after I graduate, whether I had any ideas, I kept stalling him saying “I will find it eventually,” which in the end he finally showed spite that what I said and stall was not enough. Now my father is saying harsh things as he did in my high school days, kept giving me harsh pep talks, and I can’t take it anymore.
I don’t know how to open up to my father about this better. Maybe I might change and find my ideas, but at this point, I just want to be me and try to make a living on things I know I can do and achieve. Maybe I might be an entrepreneur, but I don’t want to be forced to be one, you know?
Is there advice you guys can give me
Need advice, I might be the a-hole, but I have no interest in continuing my family’s business nor do I have the interest to start my own. How do I open up?
byu/LandOfGrace2023 inEntrepreneur
Posted by LandOfGrace2023
5 Comments
You don’t have to inherit a business or be an entrepreneur to have a successful life being true to yourself is ur first and most important investment
Tough spot to be in, but in the end it’s YOUR life. Not your dads.
I think you need some introspection tbh. The fact is that yes, not everyone, or should I say, MOST people are not built to be businessmen. Not everyone can and should own a business. However, as you mentioned, you have anxiety and are prone to overthinking… Maybe underneath that you have very good business accumen, but you can’t see it through the fog of the worries and anxiety.
You’re doing great. You’re finishing college, you’re picking up experience. That’s a lot better than laying around, waiting to “inherit daddy’s work.” You’re doing some critical thinking but don’t drown yourself in worries.
You can always start a business later. It’s not a bad idea to get experiences working in corporations, despite what social media is telling you nowadays. You learn how organisations work, how people work, how hard you need to grind to earn that paycheck… But most importantly you learn about yourself. How good you perform under pressure, how well you connect with people… All of this is important stuff to know when launching a business.
Take some time. You don’t need to make a key decision now. Do what’s comfortable and learn as much as possible. Good luck on your journey!
No you’re not the a-hole. My definition of successful parenting is helping your children be self-sufficient, healthy adults living a life they love. It sounds like your father has different ideas. As a life-long entrepreneur (I’ve never had a real job, only companies and I’m 71 years old) I can tell you that running a business or working for yourself is not for everyone. Neither is Applied Computing. That’s what’s wonderful about the world. There are so many different paths to follow.
It also sounds like you’ve been traumatized – perhaps by him. Perhaps by other things. It happens to the best of us (really). My suggestion is to get some therapy to start healing so you can craft a life that works for you. Along the way you might pick up some tips for healing the rift with your father (but there’s no guarantee).
Best wishes on your journey.
Perhaps move out and live your own life. It’ll be worth it. Most people have this struggle with their parents, it’s normal. Just stand your ground and/or walk out of the room.
The only downside may be no inheritance, in case that was important to you.
The reality is – if you are just starting/finishing studies, you cannot have a good idea on what exactly you will want to do in your life. Now, obviously, there are some exceptions, but in general I’d say pick something that feels like something you’d like and go with that until you figure out whether you like it or not.
Also, as others are saying, your dad is bullying you, if things are indeed as if you have written. He might be concerned about his legacy, etc., but that should not be a reason for bullying you