I (23F) am looking to move with my boyfriend into an apartment, I have 20k saved but i feel like within a couple months i will be going broke. I work at a smoke shop and make 600-700 a week and my boyfriend gives me 1000 every 2 weeks. The problem is i live in Miami and everything is 1700+ & im going to have to get insurance on my car ( i took it off because it was 600). I don’t know if its worth it but the other option is move from miami 2 hours up and live in my moms house for free but then my boyfriend can’t come because of his job. Long story short is moving with the amount of money i have worth it or go live with my mom with my mom which i dont really want to. I currently live with her but she’s selling the house in miami and moving up. I dont want to leave miami.. Also is 20k even good for a 23 year old i feel so behind
is moving worth it 20k saved
byu/Chance_Researcher770 inpersonalfinance
Posted by Chance_Researcher770
12 Comments
You need a budget. Savings is great but you also need to budget what you earn and what your expenses are.
Why does your boyfriend give you money? I would choose a place to live you can afford without his money in case you break up.
Your boyfriend gives you 1k every other week? Why?
$20k is very solid! Assuming no debt.
Roommates are your answer! And upskilling.
There are a lot of unanswered questions here. Is the money from your boyfriend continuing once you move in together, and is that money meant to offset your share of rent or just extra support? If you cannot comfortably afford Miami rent, insurance, and living costs on your own income, then 20k will drain fast no matter how it feels right now. Until those details are clear and you can stand on your own without relying on someone else’s money, moving in Miami is a financial risk, while living rent free with your mom protects your savings.
If you’re reliably clearing $2,400/month paying $800-900/month for your share of the rent is at least close to the 30% rule of thumb, so it’s not insane on the face of it. But combined with your car insurance and a few implied expenses (utilities, groceries, gas, etc) it might be tight. How realistic it is depends on your total monthly budget.
Don’t depend on the money he gives you: you’ll end up being dependent on him and will be one breakup away from being broke. If you were my friend or sister I’d suggest saving half the money he gives you. And be mindful that relationships with this sort of financial power imbalance can easily go sour: not saying this one will, but it’s worth keeping in the back of your mind. You definitely want enough “fuck you” money to move out on your own if you have to.
I think there’s a few different layers to consider in this situation. I can sympathize with your desire to stay in Miami if you have a job/life already built there. The question that immediately comes to mind is whether you and your boyfriend are at the place in your relationship where it makes sense to move in together or are is the primary reason to do it simply to save money. Moving in is a big step and you want to make sure you’re doing it for the right relationship reasons too, not just because it makes sense financially. I admit that it seems like you may have a bit of a unique set up to your relationship as it is if your boyfriend gives you $2K a month, but make sure that you feel stable in the relationship and there is a clear understanding of what your financial obligations are if you move in together. And make sure you both are on the same page with your relationship goals/what you both expect out of moving in together. Are you going to get married, if so, when? Are you buying a place together or paying him rent?
Some other things to consider
1. Based on where you’d live with your boyfriend, is public transportation/walking to work feasible? I’m not familiar with public transit in Miami, but if you could get to work/get groceries easily without a car, that would be huge for your financial situation because $600 for insurance is prohibitively expensive. If your current job is too far, could you work somewhere else for similar/more money that also would allow you to not need a car?
2. I strongly recommend you don’t put yourself in a position where you are pulling from your savings to live month to month. I know you feel behind, but having $20K saved up is actually quite good for your age, especially if you don’t have any debts. But financially, your 20s are the best decade of your life for compound growth, so I would love if ho can get yourself in a financial situation where you are saving every month. Retirement, house saving, etc.
3. Related to the other points, are there more career oriented jobs you can pursue? Getting yourself into a place where you can make 50K+ annually, plus potentially 401k/retirement benefits would be huge. Give yourself something to build on so you won’t be permanently dependent on the extra money from your boyfriend. If he is in a great financial position and gives you this money out of the goodness of is heart, great. But what if the pipe turns off one day? Or will continuing that arrangement create resentment?
You need to get your feet on the ground and go wherever you can get a decent job that you can make enough to support your lifestyle, or adjust your lifestyle. Having saved money and no insurance is stupid. But if you get in an accident, sure be nice and easy when you get sued to come up with first $20k
i don’t understand how u can’t afford to pay for everything if yall split it all
Could your mom sell you her house? Is it big enough to rent extra rooms?
$20k isn’t much of a safety net with Miami rent and bills. If the math already doesn’t feel comfortable, it probably isn’t. Stability first, feelings second.
Stop getting your nails done. You need car insurance. Get rid of your car if you can’t pay for insurance. You’re not just screwing over yourself if you get in an accident, you’re screwing over other peoples lives. Do better.
So you don’t have any insurance on a car that you’re driving is that correct?