I keep buying things. Not big major spends but more like a daily drip of expenditure for things that are either nice or I think would solve a problem. I need to stop. I always think it's going to be the last one until… I see yet another thing that I think is a good buy. I get FOMO during sales. What can I do to help me stop? I do have a budget but I go over it all the time with the thought that it will just be this one last thing and it will make my life so much better then I don't need anything else. I feel embarrassed of myself.
I have a spending problem. Please help me stop.
byu/mosho84 inFrugal
Posted by mosho84
9 Comments
Find an online debtors anonymous group. It has been life changing for people I know.
Log your spending in a spreadsheet so you can see what you’re buying and how much you’re spending at a glance. I categorize spending by essential, non-essential, eating out, gifts, shopping, etc. Review it consistently for tracking good and bad decisions. I’ve been doing this for about 10 years and it helps me understand where my money goes. It made me cut back a lot just seeing how silly I was being buying so much particularly shopping at TK Maxx all of the time.
Your brain is getting a dopamine hit. Chances are good that you’re scrolling through social media and getting influenced to buy something.
Limit social media. Find a replacement activity that gives you similar satisfaction- a hobby? Decluttering?
If you have a budget and you say you keep exceeding it, it sounds to me like you’re making a plan but can’t stick to it, so what good is a new plan if you don’t have the conviction to follow through?
Perhaps instead focus on your discipline. I don’t mean to offend but it seems like the root cause of your problem here isn’t simply lacking the right mindset. It’s that you have little to no self-control. There’s all sorts of books and programs out there that might help with this.
In addition to creating spreadsheets tracking your spending, look at the forecasted figures of inflation in a couple of decades’ time. The reality is we need to save and invest as much as possible for security in retirement and emergencies. Keep reminding yourself this when you get the urge to make a purchase of something that isn’t an essential. Anything you waste money on now is money wasted forever if your wages won’t rise that much above inflation.
Also actively distract yourself when you get the urge to buy non-essentials. Go for a walk, do housework or switch off devices when you feel the urge to buy a bunch of things online. Give yourself a strict timed deadline to go in and out of a store and write what you need on a list to make sure you don’t buy a bunch of extra stuff just on a whim from getting caught up when browsing.
Unpopular opinion but I really think impulsive spending is more linked to mental health than anything. I would over spend when I was feeling down. I think the biggest thing is getting to know your impulses and why you want to spend. Journaling and counseling has helped. I still have my days where it’s hard though.
Spreadsheets and finance apps help partially: they only show the user how much they spend and on what, but they DO NOT HELP AT ALL with the compulsion to buy.
It’s your thought process. The next time you think “This looks useful! It can solve a problem” remind yourself that this is a lie, then do something else. Chew gum. Make a tally. Do five jumping jacks. Count to ten. Anything to get out of the moment.
Wait a week. If you still want to buy that thing after a week, buy it.
This will disrupt your thought process and get you out of this feedback loop.
Use a notebook to list the things you’re tempted to buy. Identify whether it is a need or want. Date the entry, list the cost, and then let it wait a week before considering it again. Every time you decide against a purchase, add that amount to a running tally of how much you “saved” yourself from spending. Even just the waiting period can be a helpful barrier to the bad habit, which can help disrupt the impulse for quick dopamine. Good luck!