So I’m 19 almost 20…. by the end of the month I will probably have around 3-4k in my savings I make around 19 and hour at Dunkin I just haven’t rlly been financially responsible bc I am a musician and I am constantly going out buying new things and going around a bit to preform. But really I make somewhere around $800 every two weeks. I don’t want to sound bratty at all but my family comes from. A lot of money and I have always kinda been treated like shit and just talked down to and my dad is also an alcoholic and I just feel like I wanna get out of my house so bad and my girlfriends parents offered to let me stay there for as long as I need. I know I probably sound like a bad son for not wanting to stay but anyone with alcoholic parents will totally understand it’s wild and I have anxiety like every time I step foot in my house and I live about 40 min from work so it would be more convenient staying w my girlfriend because she is like 20 min away only and her mom is the owner of the Dunkin so I would have a lot of ups I don’t mean to ramble I just want an understanding like is this possible to move out my phone bill and car insurance is taken care of by my mom not my dad so I don’t have to pay for that and I’m not sure if they will charge me rent they said they would not but I’ll give them money or buy groceries if I need too. Is this too far am I going to fuck my life up or should I do and I’m also in school for dental hygiene.
Should I move out of my house?
byu/RestaurantOne4848 inpersonalfinance
Posted by RestaurantOne4848
5 Comments
Bro honestly sounds like moving to your gf’s place could be a solid move – you’re dealing with a toxic situation at home, cutting your commute in half, and her mom literally owns the Dunkin you work at which is huge. Just make sure you’re contributing something even if they say no rent, like groceries or utilities, and maybe have a backup plan if things go south with the relationship
Are you making 19 an hour on top of 800 biweekly? 19 am hour is enough to rent off of in lcol area
You will have a tough road ahead, but it’s doable if you’re careful with your money and don’t touch your savings as much as possible. If you had a healthier family dynamic, I’d say stay a little longer, but if it’s toxic, then you need to protect yourself.
I moved out the moment I turned 18. I struggled with money for years, but it was still the right move *for me*. I’m now doing far better than anyone in my family did.
If you think living at your GF house with her parents would be better then go for it. Although keep in mind living at their house, you have to be willing to follow their rules, i.e., it can be difficult to live with anyone no matter how nice they are – the dynamics change as soon as you move in.
Then just save as much money as possible, and tell your folks you are only moving to be closer to work. That keeps a relationship with them, but you are now safe from the direct alcoholic behavior. I would also try to get some counseling or join a peer group for family members of alcoholics. Alcoholism is a family illness and you could probably use some help dealing with it (speaking from personal experience).
Well, I think you need to find out if you’ll be paying rent and/or contributing in other ways first. (Side note: you *have* to contribute, even if they tell you they don’t expect you to – pay for groceries or the cable bill or something. Make an effort to show you aren’t the type of person who expects a free ride since it doesn’t sound like you are.) You need a more solid idea of what your expenses will be. To that point, have you confirmed with your mom that she’s going to continue paying for your phone and car insurance if you move out? Just be sure you don’t end up surprised by significant expenses.
Now, big picture, is this the best move *financially*? Probably not because if you can live at home and avoid paying rent/pay low rent, that’s pretty much always going to be the best financial choice so that you can save money (which it doesn’t sound like you’re doing, but that’s another topic). But sometimes the best move financially isn’t the best move for you personally. You have to consider your happiness and well-being and safety. If living at home is taking a toll on you, then it may be worth the cost to leave. Only you can decide how unhappy you are and what that’s worth to you.
The general rule of thumb is to not spend more than 30% of your pre-tax income on rent. So if, for example, you’re making about $2k a month before taxes, you wouldn’t want to have rent over $600. I’ve personally only ever felt comfortable doing 30% of my net (take-home) income, which would be $480 for you, but that’s me.
Another standard is to budget 50% of your take-home pay for needs (rent, utilities, food, car, tuition, etc.), 30% for wants (going out to dinner, entertainment, music purchases), and 20% for savings (emergencies, investments). If you follow that rule, you would want to figure out all of your “need” expenses and make sure they’re under $800. And then work on keeping your “wants” to $480 because *saving is vital* and so easily overlooked.
TL:DR – sounds like you can do it, but get your financial ducks in a row first.