Nobody warned me that being frugal is mostly a psychological task. The hardest thing about it is seeing your colleagues enjoying their money. My neighbor and colleague (we earn the same) just bought a sleek Range Rover and I won't lie it's gotten to my head. I can't sleep at night knowing that I can afford that vehicle but should not. Unfortunately, you only feel rich when you spend money and I'm feeling pretty broke right now despite probably having a higher net worth than him. Frugality is definitely a test in delayed gratification.
Frugality is Harder Than I Thought but I Hope the Benefits Will Pay Off
byu/User-U201 inFrugal
Posted by User-U201
17 Comments
You can’t sleep at night because you want to buy a range rover?
Frugal doesn’t mean don’t spend, it just means spend only on things you actually value. I am super happy to spend money, it’s just rarely and selectively. Every purchase supports my lifestyle I want for myself. I don’t even notice what anyone else is doing with their money, om happy with that I’m doing with mine.
1. You don’t want a Range Rover
2. You can enjoy your money too just do it within your financial goals. There’s nothing more frugal that a budget you stick to. You can do a simple 50/30/20 model (50% needs and bills/30% wants/20% saving) or how my wife and I do it 50/20/10/20 (the 10% is a sinking fund for travel or projects around the house that are costly).
Being blindly frugal without knowing exactly where your money goes isn’t frugal at all in fact it will cost you a lot more over the long run.
I feel rich when I have money in savings and the security of knowing I can have expenses covered for months vs physical objects that immediately depreciate in value from the second I buy them. But, it does take a different mindset than normal consumer culture.
That range rover is going to be a headache to maintain.
Sure they can get a new car every 2-3 years, but thats unusual and you cant compare yourself to the stupidly wealthy or the wealthy stupid.
I think a mindset change will really help you in this regard. What is he actually getting with that new car that an older car isn’t? It’s just flashy new stuff that is going to depreciate like a rock and become normal in a month. Personally I get a lot of joy knowing I’m getting the same experience as other people without having to spend my money on things that won’t return any real improvement to my life.
I’ve never really understood this mentality tbh. Who cares what expensive things your coworkers are buying? Is it not enough to feel good about having money saved?
Acceptance is key. Sometimes it takes convincing ones self. In reality your home made meals taste better than a restaurant, and spending less on a car allows you other, better opportunities.
>My neighbor and colleague (we earn the same) just bought a sleek Range Rover and I won’t lie it’s gotten to my head. I can’t sleep at night knowing that I can afford that vehicle but should not. Unfortunately, you only feel rich when you spend money and I’m feeling pretty broke right now despite probably having a higher net worth than him.
This sounds like more of a personal issue than a frugality issue. If you are so obsessed with keeping up with your neighbor that you can’t sleep knowing without buying the same expensive car as him, then that’s definitely something you should work on. I expect you can find some tips online. Spending a copayment talking with a psychologist would also likely have a high ROI in the long run.
Stick to it 80% of the time. I’ve been frugal for decades. I tried the Ebenezer Scrooge method. It doesn’t work. It’s a law of diminishing returns because it erodes the morale so much.
Now I go for a reasonable hamburger once a month. Not Five Guys because I could pay around half of the water bill for what they cost. I tend to go for the 2/$5 Dairy Queen menu.
The point is, choose a monthly treat that’s reasonably priced and enjoy yourself about once a month. It helps.
It also helps to find specials, like free birthday specials and days when restaurants give freebies.
Homey with the Range Rover isn’t going to get to retire early.
Comparing yourself to others is a terrible thing to do.
Can you really afford it though?
Car payment with a 4 year term should be no more than 10% of Gross Income (before taxes) including the loan payment, insurance, fuel, and maintenance. That’s after you put down 20% in cash.
If you make enough that this is true then get what you want and don’t worry about it.
But, the truth is usually it’s your neighbor who **can’t actually afford it** if they are being responsible.
When I am outside and see my neighbors huge house filled with possessions I have zero envy. Things have never mattered to me, my frugal ways have earned me 2 degrees with very little debt (no debt for my graduate degree), a home with no mortgage in my 50’s, my own sanctuary with many amenities and a soon to be wildflower garden (adding to my other gardens). Life is good, I have been frugal since I was a teenager.
I love being frugal. It’s like a game to me. I can buy boneless pork ribs on sale for $3/lb, grind them up, and have ground pork for cooking many different recipes for half the cost of buying it already ground. I shop clearance deals online for my clothes. I do my own housecleaning and laundry. I’m retired now. So I’ll be doing my own oil changes again.
Why does it matter so much what you neighbor drives?
Back in the day, one of my colleagues bought a new car that was maybe double what I’d paid for mine. She justified it by saying you only live once.
That moment stuck in my head because we weren’t that well paid, it was gonna cost her three years of work, after taxes, just to pay for the stupid car.
Do that a few times in your life, it’s like a decade of work just for a nicer vehicle – and for what, to impress other people? Or to convince yourself you’ve “made it,” when a basic car does the exact same job, getting you from point A to point B?
I was never jealous of it, or even impressed by it. I retired about a decade ago, in my early 50s, and my 20 year old subcompact car is doing fine, because it barely has to go anywhere.
I’m so glad I went that route – because she was right about one thing, you only live once. I don’t want to squander that by working to pay for a car that I need because I’m working.
Man seek therapy.