I’ll be 30 next year, and honestly… I feel just as lost as I did at 20.
Last night my husband and I reviewed our taxes, and it really shook me. Together we made about $90k in 2025, but we now owe around $11k total — about $7k back to the health insurance marketplace and a few thousand more in actual taxes.
On paper, I guess that income makes sense… but it doesn’t feel like we made $90k. I always imagined that income would come with a much more comfortable lifestyle.
Some context about us:
- Married, no kids
- Renting (and rent increases every year)
- Both have credit scores over 700
- Some credit card debt (not huge, but it’s there, under 30%)
- Husband works 50–60 hours/week and was recently promoted to management
- He has student loans
- I’m a full-time college student and work part-time
- I also clean a house on the side for extra income
- I’m trying to avoid taking on more student debt beyond tuition/books
Expenses/life:
- Husband drives a reliable 20 year old paid-off car
- I still have a car payment (economic sedan, nothing fancy)
- We don’t eat out much or go out often
- I’m very mindful about spending — I try to only buy what I need
And yet… we are still living paycheck to paycheck.
Now we have to drain our savings and emergency fund just to pay this tax bill, which feels like a huge setback.
Part of the issue seems to be the health insurance marketplace. From what I understand, you estimate your income ahead of time. In 2025, my income dropped significantly mid-year because I stopped working full-time to start college, while my husband picked up overtime to support us. Our income fluctuated a lot, and clearly our estimate was off — which is why we now owe so much back. This year we switched to paying monthly instead to avoid that situation again.
Still, everything just feels like a mess.
I genuinely don’t understand how people:
- Afford kids in this economy
- Buy homes
- Or even feel financially stable
We’re working hard, making what I thought was decent income, and still feel stuck.
So I guess my questions are:
- Are we actually doing something wrong?
- Is this just how things are right now for most people?
- Should we be looking into a financial advisor?
- What would you prioritize if you were in our situation?
I feel really overwhelmed and discouraged. Any advice or perspective would be appreciated.
Feeling completely lost financially at almost 30 – what are we doing wrong?
byu/Responsible_Foot8318 inpersonalfinance
Posted by Responsible_Foot8318
13 Comments
You don’t need an advisor you need more income. An advisor costs money and can’t invent income. I would look for a higher paying pt job if possible. Is that 90k before or after taxes? If it’s before it’s not enough anymore for 2 people. Sorry to say
Do you have an actual budget?
You are not doing anything wrong. $90k in double income is not that much in the current economy to be able to save / pay off debt quickly. Post Covid lots of things went up price wise but salaries havent caught up unfortunately
It’s hard to help/give insight when you haven’t provided actual numbers. How much is rent? How much is your debt/repayment? How much are you actually spending? Many people, including myself, believe that they don’t spend that much until they look at the actual numbers.
But also, you definitely don’t need a financial advisor.
If your credit score is good (>700 is generally good enough for these offers) the bank you belong to may have 0% interest loans for paying off taxes. I did it one year when I fucked up my withholding and it helped relieve that pressure. Idk if the credit card debt would affect these offers but it’s worth exploring.
Edit: to say that priority should be getting out of CC debt. That interest might not seem like a lot but it can bury you over time. Accruing high interest debt is also a habit that is not sustainable.
You are only 30. Being young is real hard. Especially in today’s world where there is so much pressure and FOMO. Quick story I turned 30 during the tail end of the Great Recession…. it was really bad. I think because I was young and cheap I was able to stay alive from a job perspective, but many folks older than me got hit real hard. Bankruptcies, foreclosures, etc. So it may feel like you arent getting ahead, but time will be kind if you keep your mindset of not spending a lot in the next decade and keep growing your income.
When I turned 30, I had scrounged up a little money for a 3% down FHA loan and bought dumpy little 1000sqft 3/1 house across from a cemetery on a busy road. I had been looking for a year and this one was in the best shape of anything I had seen, but it was mad dated. For 5 years I lived with roommates and my GF at the time since it was a 3 bed (even had a roommate after we got married for a little while). That period I saved a lot because my roommates paid over half my mortgage, I paid down all my debt, and I spent my free time updating the house and learning new skills – All as cheaply as I could.
Moral is, things may feel worse but when I was young and broke I made some uncomfortable choices. We did super cheap vacations or none at all. I sold my car and bought a beater to get rid of my loan. I cut coupons for grocery shopping. Even if you cant buy a house because today’s market is insane, you have to consider what levers to pull to save some more money. This should mean sharing a house with other people. From the time I was 18 until 34 I only lived alone 2 of those years. Housing, food, transportation are going to be your biggest expenses so how can you cut back on any of those? Your income right now is part of the issue.
Also you need to prioritize getting rid of all you consumer debt first before doing anything… the credit cards and the auto loan gotta go. Take it step by step. Time + income growth + staying out of debt and keeping your expenses in check will be huge believe me. Then you move on to investing that extra money in simple stuff like stock index funds. TLDR We went from being negative net worth at 30 years old due to credit cards, auto loans, and student loans, to 1.5 Million in net worth 12 years later. You got this.
You are in college – it’s expensive – you need to make college your number one priority. If that means taking out loans, so be it. But you have to put your primary focus there.
Check if you can get an on campus job for the semester but during your breaks you should be looking for internships. I was a 30 year old intern when I was in grad school, just lean into it. The other interns called me Mom.
Check for coops or other work experience during college but again *getting good grades is your primary job*.
You should also check if you can get on the student health insurance.
For the money stuff, check the flowchart in the wiki
Don’t waste money on an advisor.
You just explained why. School loans, car payment.
Finish school & get to work.
It’s okay to somewhat struggle when one of you is in school. The degree and career prospects are better be worth the debt though.
What do you mean by credit card debt “only under 30%” ??
You should always have 0 credit card debt, it is amongst the worst type of debt that keeps people poor.
Please clarify, thanks!
You don’t make enough to not withhold your taxes up front, or if you insist on this then you need to budget that amount out of each payday and put it in a savings account you can use to pay your taxes.
I have never owed taxes except the year I was talked into not withholding taxes by some dumb conservative HR lady about it being “a free loan to the GOVERNMENT hurr hurr”
Like, yeah, if you’re making over 200k a year, have assets, etc., then you can make that money work for you and then pay the taxes after the fact.
You don’t own any significant assets like property, a business, or investments. So you should just pay those taxes on each check and not get surprised that you owe more taxes than a billionaire.
In addition to what everyone else said (make or tell us your budget, focus on getting to full time employment), what are you actually studying? Do you have prospects once you finish college and when will that be? The job market is starting to change very quickly and decades-old advice may no longer apply in the same ways.
Kids are expensive. My partner and I make around 200k combined and we have 3 kids, all still in elementary/jr/high school. It’s expensive. The only way is a high dual income. We would not be able to do it without that for sure. Doesn’t seem like anything is wrong with what you’re doing. Also healthcare costs are expensive no matter what. I cover my youngest and my partner covers the 2 oldest and between them it’s probably almost 1000 a month just for heath insurance. Biggest scam in the US.