Potential of Spouse Separating

Long post to capture everything I can think that is necessary.
We are dual-mil Es (6/7) ~12 years in, with 3 young children under 4 years old. We are looking at the option of one of potentially separating.

Current combined financials:
Brokerage: ~110k
R-IRAs: ~110
R-TSPs: ~450k
UTMAs: ~15k
529s: ~6k.

Gross take home ~22k/month.
Net (including retirement contributions): 14k.
Budget (including mortgage, 600 towards 529s and 1.5k brokerage): 13.8k
Surplus: 200.

If 1 separates looking at ~12k/month gross, even less Net. Will likely lower soon with PCS due to being at VHCOLA (COLA + BAH).

Budget also includes car payment, will pay off NLT Oct IF both work, later if 1 separates. Childcare (will go away if 1 separates).

We know the obvious Pros and Cons:

Pros: Children get raised by parent. Less work stress, more quality time. Likely happier spouse and children.

Cons: All monetary. Lose the 1 TSP contribution avenue (lower the 2nd), likely lower both 529s and brokerage contributions, and will likely lower QoL a bit. Lose 1 retirement (kinda huge).

UNK: How will the stay at home parent handle the different stress of dealing 24/7 with kids. While work may not be enjoyable, it can be a break from kids, especially when cranky/sick. How will the QoL decrease be handled?

My goal since we've been together: Both of us FIRE, while upholding a good QoL, and provide for our children and their futures.
Obviously if one of us separates, that goal is not met, but instead traded off for a spouse raising children during core development years.

I am just wondering what everybody's insights are on this, especially if there are any that have been in our situation, or with a Stay at home spouse. Also, is there is anything else we should be considering?