Help me decide how to finance my 1st home purchase/determine a down payment size?

Hi everyone! My fiance and I (31m and 29f) are very tired of renting and want to get a home. Originally, we wanted to rent until our job situations were more certain. I still don't know if I want to stay in my career, but we REALLY want to buy before our lease is up end of July. Our upcoming wedding & an inherited property have made this process more complicated, though.

Mini background; (you can skip this lol) I started my career at pretty low pay (32k) and ended up quickly in debt due to car costs/med bills from a car crash I got in immediately post-college. After 5 years of fighting off snowballed debt, I inherited some money from family & paid off my credit cards and student loans (60K total debt) and bought a car outright (25K). Became debt-free. Nowadays my fiance and I have 26K savings combined. He, like me, has no debt or car payments. I'm still not used to being financially okay like this and still REALLY struggle with financial decision making!

We're looking at 3br homes in the 250-325K price range. Let's say 290 for a middling estimate. So, our savings of 26K might sound decent enough for a home purchase – not enough to avoid mortgage insurance but enough – but the kicker is, we already have had plans to get married and have been saving to fund our own wedding next year. Per our venue contract, we will need at least 18K to cover the rental of the venue plus food, drink, and amenities for guests. This doesn't include cost of vendors like a DJ and photographer, etc etc. (We are trying to spend reasonably, but we care a lot about it – It's the one time we get to have everyone we love in one big room to celebrate.) So, we estimate probably spending 25k total or more for everything.

Hence, my problem – if we use our savings for down payment and closing, we end up with nothing to prepare us to pay for wedding costs over the next 15 months until the big day. We DO have the ability to put about $900 in savings per month. This doesn't get us to the amount we need in time, though. So we've explored multiple paths to fund the house and not be way behind on wedding savings.

• 1: Taking up to 15K out of my Roth IRA as a 'hardship withdrawl'. No taxes would be paid on most of it, but it sounds like there would be a 10% early withdrawl penalty. There's also the option to take a loan on any of my 3 retirement accounts, but they would charge interest and I REALLY don't want to go back to carrying debt on top of a mortgage. We do have about 58K total in retirement, so we wouldn't be draining all of it.
  -2: Using a lender that offers very low down payment mortgages. I am worried that these would come with bad interest rates & massive payments and screw us in the long run. I don't know how poorly these work out for people.
  -3: "Borrowing" our entire wedding fund from ourselves and then forcing my brother to move out of inherited family property so we can sell it and have money again post-down payment. Basically, parent left a house to both of us kids, brother was already living there when parent passed, their will gave no deadline of how soon we had to sell (just that we had to do so), so he continued living there and accrued massive junk, semi-hoarding levels. At first I gave him grace as he definitely struggles mentally and grieved hard, but he has REALLY been dragging his feet on helping me clean the house to sell. It's been almost 3 years. I could give him a deadline to sell the place sometime this year. That way, I get at least 60K out of the sale, and would have plenty to use towards the wedding. But this relies on him actually meeting that deadline and forcing a hoarder to clean. I HIGHLY doubt he could finish before we want to move in July…. I'd probably have to give him til later this year.

What should I do? Pursue all 3 of these?

TLDR: What dollar amount or percentage should I really put down on a house to not screw ourselves? Is a very low down payment a bad idea? Is taking out of retirement to fund our first home worth it to make a better down payment?