Puts with the fur(with the fur), all sub was lookin at her, they hit the floor(they hit the floor), next thing you know…porties go low low low low low low low
Good news everyone. I will be ceasing my self-destructive tendencies in 2-3 weeks.
ecoburner87 on
other than announcing an actual deal with iran, i can’t for the life of me understand what mango could say tonight to pump the markets. like, what is it?
-we’re leaving and after 31 days, we’ve given up the strait, and israel will go it alone, take on more missiles?
what could he possibly say that smoothes over the fact that an energy shock could continue into weeks or months from now, which hasn’t been priced into GDP revisions or earnings??? what are we actually pumping on?
ShittyUsernane1222 on
its a great time to sell.
beachsandwichen on
Ahahahahahahaha
OntologicalSquirrel on
lmao bers thought
hahaha dumb bols why u so dumb
don’t mind me just exercising for close
Voenker on
Iran attacks a Qatar oil tanker and targets Iraq oil field. The Strait is still shut. Buy the oil dip
Leading_Form_8485 on
I think hes gonna announce we are pulling out of NATO
fire_alarmist on
Mango address @ 9 tonight:
“Thank you for bagholding, we have hit our target for the short squeeze. The bigliest short squeeze in some time, not as big as our April but still big. Anyways, we have reset all the vix straddles and recollared key stocks. You will all be getting theta graped for another year while I piss and shit all over your economy and the market refuses to price any of it in. That gay judge that wont let me have my ballroom is scheduled for public execution at 11 AM tommorow. Anyways, Im about all tuckered out I think im going to go make love to Jeffery Epstein and his haram of fertile 11 year old WOMEN. Eat shit and die.”
Previous_Hope_2087 on
Put/call ratio for today is 1.00. For reference yesterday was 2.75. Do with this what you will.
if you want a gamblers advice for next weeks market
we are now at ema 200 at SPY (not on EMA 200 on US500 yet), most of the times we go few percent above the ema 200, im calling max 660~ probably today, which is ema200 on us500, because the weekly high past months was ALWAYS a wednesday, for a real ralley we need to go above 660 today AND actually be green tomorrow, last times on second leg down we only managed to touch ema200, never went far above it and then dumped again and the second time we go below ema200 is the real shit and we lose another -10% from here, (same on covid, 2022 bearmarket and tarrifs) but it all depends on next few days and iran news. we broke the first major wall at 649, now my guess is calls till 660~ and need to break the structure then we go to 671, which is the last “top” that we can go down from. if we manage it manages to get broken trough then we go to ath, if not then 609.
[deleted] on
[deleted]
Prestigious-Fix8154 on
In other news, how about those Apaches near Kid Rock’s house
Diamondhands4dagainz on
680 EOW, ATH next week. Everything gapping up. Bers always forget that the market can easily gap up 3/4% in a day, but will only fall a max of -1.5% on a red day lmfao. We have already erased like a week of red in a single fucking session
econ_dev_dude on
!banbet SPY 635 4d
ProudestPeasant on
when he claims that the “war is over”, he means that it was a redundant undertaking in the first place and what on earth was he thinking
just act like it never happened
beachsandwichen on
Maybe just maybe the market isn’t “reacting” to anything at all and we just like talking about this stuff like it matters when in actuality all that matters is what MM wants and if they need it up it goes up plain and simple
mannycalls24 on
Most hated rally I’ve seen
MrsEveryShot on
I still cranked hog this morning but it was sadder than usual
Fun-Age-5749 on
i will not fucking buy-in
NaturalFortune8397 on
dude literally wanted the war to last just long enough for folks to forget about the files
lol
Diet_Water on
Got people to stop talking about Epstein…
daedalus_dance on
The US can trigger article 4 or 5 procedures if it wants NATO to get involved but hasn’t which goes to show they don’t really think its a NATO issue. The biggest threat to the market now is the fact US policy isn’t even being steered by US interests and legal processes, which means you can’t actually depend on it looking after its own security or interests as its priced as a safe haven. It so blatantly didn’t prepare for this war or time it.
Fun-Age-5749 on
He will announce that us troops will intervene, market drop in 2 weeks it will be over and again green
FuckingJPMAlgos on
# Dont forget that they gotta pump up the market for Elon’s SpaceX ipo, Altman’s OpenAI ipo. SpaceX will be done in May and OpenAI should be done by Dec. Buy stocks (not options) with all the money you got and sell by Dec for a good 50% return. Ignore the short term volatility next few days.
gamusils on
ready for SPY puts at 11:50am EST
YeeyeeTigOlBitties on
If we close above 650 Thursday, they were fooled again.
lysergalien on
Dump at open would be hilarious. But based on the sentiment here I do feel as though we will moon today
bklotrgoblet on
Just nutting dust at this point
MrsEveryShot on
born too early for the Middle East
born too late for the Middle East
born just in time for the Middle East
Fun-Age-5749 on
The upcoming sell off will be remembered for years
SmokingOnions on
Is dump truthing(falsing) to pump the market because he knows Iran bombs a tech company today and the market tanks? Hmmm
41 Comments
I like how over the weekend I’ve seen articles like “the market is not going to be tricked by empty words and manipulations. Not again”.
And first thing that happened – market rallies on another 2-3 weeks promise while more and more troops coming into region.
ALL MAJOR MOVES HAPPEN AFTER THE MARKET CLOSES
SORRY PEASANTS
Trump says he’s considering pulling U.S. out of ‘paper tiger’ NATO
[https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/01/trump-says-hes-considering-pulling-us-out-of-paper-tiger-nato.html](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/01/trump-says-hes-considering-pulling-us-out-of-paper-tiger-nato.html)
Puts with the fur(with the fur), all sub was lookin at her, they hit the floor(they hit the floor), next thing you know…porties go low low low low low low low
You ain’t ever been as dumb as me.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-04-01/wall-street-traders-say-positioning-not-peace-is-driving-stocks
The things “it’s a great time to buy” could do for me rn
is this idiot actually trying to convince everyone that we are going to pull out to pump the market.
is this market regarded enough to actually believe him.
Wtf lol
Anthropic Accidentally Posts Source Code of Claude AI Agent
[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/04/01/donald-trump-strongly-considering-pulling-us-out-of-nato/](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/04/01/donald-trump-strongly-considering-pulling-us-out-of-nato/)
SPY 700 EOD
Good news everyone. I will be ceasing my self-destructive tendencies in 2-3 weeks.
other than announcing an actual deal with iran, i can’t for the life of me understand what mango could say tonight to pump the markets. like, what is it?
-we’re leaving and after 31 days, we’ve given up the strait, and israel will go it alone, take on more missiles?
what could he possibly say that smoothes over the fact that an energy shock could continue into weeks or months from now, which hasn’t been priced into GDP revisions or earnings??? what are we actually pumping on?
its a great time to sell.
Ahahahahahahaha
lmao bers thought
hahaha dumb bols why u so dumb
don’t mind me just exercising for close
Iran attacks a Qatar oil tanker and targets Iraq oil field. The Strait is still shut. Buy the oil dip
I think hes gonna announce we are pulling out of NATO
Mango address @ 9 tonight:
“Thank you for bagholding, we have hit our target for the short squeeze. The bigliest short squeeze in some time, not as big as our April but still big. Anyways, we have reset all the vix straddles and recollared key stocks. You will all be getting theta graped for another year while I piss and shit all over your economy and the market refuses to price any of it in. That gay judge that wont let me have my ballroom is scheduled for public execution at 11 AM tommorow. Anyways, Im about all tuckered out I think im going to go make love to Jeffery Epstein and his haram of fertile 11 year old WOMEN. Eat shit and die.”
Put/call ratio for today is 1.00. For reference yesterday was 2.75. Do with this what you will.
https://reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1s81gg2/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_march_31_2026/odejqzx/
if you want a gamblers advice for next weeks market
we are now at ema 200 at SPY (not on EMA 200 on US500 yet), most of the times we go few percent above the ema 200, im calling max 660~ probably today, which is ema200 on us500, because the weekly high past months was ALWAYS a wednesday, for a real ralley we need to go above 660 today AND actually be green tomorrow, last times on second leg down we only managed to touch ema200, never went far above it and then dumped again and the second time we go below ema200 is the real shit and we lose another -10% from here, (same on covid, 2022 bearmarket and tarrifs) but it all depends on next few days and iran news. we broke the first major wall at 649, now my guess is calls till 660~ and need to break the structure then we go to 671, which is the last “top” that we can go down from. if we manage it manages to get broken trough then we go to ath, if not then 609.
[deleted]
In other news, how about those Apaches near Kid Rock’s house
680 EOW, ATH next week. Everything gapping up. Bers always forget that the market can easily gap up 3/4% in a day, but will only fall a max of -1.5% on a red day lmfao. We have already erased like a week of red in a single fucking session
!banbet SPY 635 4d
when he claims that the “war is over”, he means that it was a redundant undertaking in the first place and what on earth was he thinking
just act like it never happened
Maybe just maybe the market isn’t “reacting” to anything at all and we just like talking about this stuff like it matters when in actuality all that matters is what MM wants and if they need it up it goes up plain and simple
Most hated rally I’ve seen
I still cranked hog this morning but it was sadder than usual
i will not fucking buy-in
dude literally wanted the war to last just long enough for folks to forget about the files
lol
Got people to stop talking about Epstein…
The US can trigger article 4 or 5 procedures if it wants NATO to get involved but hasn’t which goes to show they don’t really think its a NATO issue. The biggest threat to the market now is the fact US policy isn’t even being steered by US interests and legal processes, which means you can’t actually depend on it looking after its own security or interests as its priced as a safe haven. It so blatantly didn’t prepare for this war or time it.
He will announce that us troops will intervene, market drop in 2 weeks it will be over and again green
# Dont forget that they gotta pump up the market for Elon’s SpaceX ipo, Altman’s OpenAI ipo. SpaceX will be done in May and OpenAI should be done by Dec. Buy stocks (not options) with all the money you got and sell by Dec for a good 50% return. Ignore the short term volatility next few days.
ready for SPY puts at 11:50am EST
If we close above 650 Thursday, they were fooled again.
Dump at open would be hilarious. But based on the sentiment here I do feel as though we will moon today
Just nutting dust at this point
born too early for the Middle East
born too late for the Middle East
born just in time for the Middle East
The upcoming sell off will be remembered for years
Is dump truthing(falsing) to pump the market because he knows Iran bombs a tech company today and the market tanks? Hmmm