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    Annoyed by small, but relatively expensive purchase

    Long story short, I (29M) am a little cheap and wife I just went to Costco

    She likes to spoil me so she bought the decent size bag of cashews without me noticing

    I’m always on the fence about these because I just feel $16 for a bag is outrageous

    Now I’m annoyed and want to return

    Am I crazy or is this valid?

    Anyone else relate?

    29 no debt – 10k net income per month 2.5k expenses – 370ish NW

    Annoyed by small, but relatively expensive purchase
    byu/Poorassboy6969 inFrugal



    Posted by Poorassboy6969

    28 Comments

    1. ashtree35 on

      Nuts are dense, a large bag will last you a while. Isn’t the bag from Costco like 2.5 lb? $16 is a very good price for that.

    3. ProneToLaughter on

      no debt and $10k/month plus assets, you can afford the decent bag of cashews.

    5. WoodenInternet on

      You’re not a “little cheap”, you’re in hardcore cheapskate maniac territory man. It’s a bag of cashews. I’d want someone to call me out in this situation so take this as your sign to chill out.

    9. jmlack on

      Bruh, you’re fine. The quantity and quality of those nuts, it’s a great deal and they’ll last a good long while. Look at price per oz and compare to another store. They’re totally worth it. I usually buy their walnut bag, it feels expensive in the moment but that bag lasts me forever and is WAY cheaper per oz elsewhere

    13. Ill-Customer-3781 on

      Costco cashews are the best price for the highest quality that you can buy. 

      You can lay your head on your pillow tonight knowing your dollar went as far as it could possibly go and that your wife loves you. 

      Don’t return the cashews. Enjoy them. If you aren’t going to finish them all this month put them in a bag and throw them in the freezer. 

    15. ees0437 on

      That’s not a frivolous purchase. Especially with your income. That’s not a bad price for Costco sized nuts AND they’re a healthy snack that can stretch for weeks.

    16. DazzlingNote1925 on

      If you take back the cashews won’t you be spending more money on several smaller bags of a snack someplace else?  Seriously, if you will eat the cashews it’s ok to keep them given that you can afford it. 

    17. Sufficient_Beach_445 on

      For some people frugality is a state of mind. but it can also be a pathology. It’s a bag of nuts. Nobody healthy returns a bag of nuts.

    18. lacelionlair on

      Cashews are delicious and good for you and you can afford them, it’s okay

    19. genderlessadventure on

      What do you do with all your money if you have $7.5k left over a month and won’t even buy a bag of nuts that you enjoy???

    20. Hamblin113 on

      Want to stay married, don’t say a thing. Need to realize she knows that you would not buy them for yourself, but knows you like them and wants to give you something special, she thinks you deserve it for the effort you put into the marriage. Accept them with a hug and a kiss, if you did say something, sounds like she needs breakfast in bed and an apology.

    24. OnlyDaysEndingInWhy on

      For our first Valentine’s Day, my husband left me a “bouquet” of wine in the shape of a heart on the table before he left for work (he’s allergic to flowers).

      I got him a nice assortment of fancy cashews ’cause they’re his favorite.

      You need to quit sniffing your own farts and appreciate that your wife got you something nice she thought you’d like.

    26. sweng123 on

      I get it. Things like that eat at me too.

      The objective financial reality of the situation aren’t what triggered this feeling and so reasoning yourself out of it won’t work. You already know it’s silly. You may have already decided to let it go a couple of times, just to have it come back around and poke at you again.

      The way I think about it is that two things are true at the same time:

      1. I’m frugal for good, practical reasons and it’s perfectly valid not to want to pay $16 for a bag of cashews – AND –
      2. $16 is not nearly worth this amount of agitation. I would gladly burn $16 and flush it down the toilet to not have to feel this

      The only thing I’ve found for it is to sit and just let myself feel the loss. Like literally sit with my eyes closed, find the feeling within the chaos of my mind, and open myself up to experiencing it. Feel it, not think about it.

      Feelings pass on their own in a short time, unless we ruminate on them. Thinking about it over and over retriggers us. By giving ourselves some space to process the negative feeling, it signals to our subconscious mind that we got the memo, the threat has passed, and we don’t have to be vigilant anymore. We’re not going to starve this winter, because we squandered all our resources, etc.

    27. OkWeather303 on

      Man, being frugal is great but we have to live sometimes. $16 gift that your partner got you means much more than the money.

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