Where’s the actual trading AI bot for the rest of us?

Yo, it’s 2026 and we’ve got AI doing literally everything else, but we’re still out here clicking buttons manually like it’s 2010. Where’s that legendary massmarket AI trader everone was promising? Honestly, it feels like if a company actually released a legit bot for the masses, the alpha would just get nuked instantly. It’s a zero-sum game—if everyone’s using the same "god-tier" algo, nobody’s winning except the exchanges. Plus, imagine the lawsuits the second a bot goes full degen and wipes out some kid's college fund because of a "hallucination." For a bot to actually pull profit and not just drain your bag, it’d need to do way more than just stare at RSI or MACD. It’s gotta be eating real-time sentiment, news, and even those random Fed speeches for breakfast. It needs to know when the vibes shift from "to the moon" to "total collapse" before the first red candle even shows up. Basically, it’s gotta have better risk management than a human on Adderall and the ability to switch strats the second the market regime flips.

What’s the hold up though? Are we just not there yet, or are the big players just keeping the good tech for themselves?