Market Calendar for Dummies??

I’m a simpleton. I know what calls and puts are and I generally know how they work. Calls=betting it goes up and Put=betting it goes down bla bla bla expiration dates bla bla the Greeks blablala. Over my 6 years of doing this, I try not to overthink things when trading 0dte’s like a total degenerate because I’ve found power in simplicity. I don’t backtest. I don’t have 50 different BS “technical analysis” indicators on my chart. I don’t bother with all that support and resistance garbage everyone seems to worship. All that fancy extra stuff is in the same realm as zodiac signs as far as I’m concerned, just sophisticated-looking teddy bears masquerading as “tools” to help soften the blow of losing, because NONE of these “tools” can effectively predict the future. I only have faith in one principle: the market, particularly SPY, reacts in a big way to specific kinds of news. Maybe it’s a trump tweet. Maybe it’s something Jerome Powell said. Maybe it’s a terrorist attack. Sometimes I’ve been lucky at catching some of these events and making some spectacular money, but most of time I’ve simply missed out on big plays like these just from simply not knowing any better. Because market calendars I’ve tried so far seem to label every little upcoming thing as an “important event” and these are events that are planned and already priced in, so it’s not really that reliable. I’m looking for basically an on-the-spot alerts tool that immediately notifies you of big, relevant, unexpected news that’s happening RIGHT NOW. So I humble myself before you today to ask you geniuses if there’s anything out there like this. Some kind of system or platform that lets me know when something big just happened and whether I should buy a call or put based on the incident. Thanks