Please help. So stressed about money!
25F, have been living comfortably with my husband for the past few years as we both have worked full-time and split costs, but he is about to start grad school (PA, 2 years) and take out ~50k of loans to pay for his tuition for year 1. We want him to take out as few loans as possible, so I am planning on paying our full bills. I am a teacher and make 54k.
Rent is 1500/month
Utilities around 200/month
Insurance (for the 2 of us) about 500/month
Groceries about 400/month
My gym membership is 159/month (maybe I will need to cancel this..)
Other random subscriptions/memberships, maybe 30/month total
We typically eat out / go out with friends a fair amount, but will obviously have to cut that way down.
Combined, we have about 25k in savings.
Looking at the numbers, I'm feeling so stressed and tight on money. Any advice? Will we just have to get used to living paycheck-to-paycheck the next 2 years of his program?
Financial Advice- Teacher, Husband in Grad School
byu/applefritter319 inpersonalfinance
Posted by applefritter319
13 Comments
You seem to have a reasonably fair understanding of where the money is going. Run the math to see if your expenses (and savings/extra) add up to your income. If not, then you are bleeding money somewhere and you need to figure out why.
At your age and place in life, you need to live cheap and save as much as you can. You need to start funding your retirement accounts, such as a Roth IRA, or a 401k or similar through your employer. Life cheap, save money, and that grow as the decades pass and you start taking a *serious* look at what your retirement budget will look like.
Stop blowing money on entertainment, eating out, and booze. You’re about to take on $50,000 in debt, and that is going to be a burden for *years*.
Live cheap while you can, and wear that as a badge of honor.
You haven’t told us your net income per month.
Do you have a multi year budget?
Is your husband leaving the workforce to go to grad school? And is he doing an online or a traditional in-person program? If the former, he should at least work part-time. If the latter, the campus should have a lot of resources to replace some of your spending. A health/fitness center on campus should have a “family” option that would probably cost you a fraction of your $159/mo. A graduate college is likely to have a health insurance rate for students and possibly for students’ spouses. There is likely to be a food bank on campus and he should use it. And of course if the campus offers any employee tuition discount, he should take a part-time job on campus even if it’s sweeping floors or doing overnight security – not only will it give you a few bucks of income, but the tens of thousands it would save in tuition is huge. (It is 25% at the flagship university near me, and 100% at local regional colleges even for part-timers.)
The gym membership seems expensive. Sometimes gyms will have discounted fees for local employees (like teachers). Maybe shop around?
Drop him from your insurance when he can enroll in student health insurance. It’s so much cheaper.
PA is a great job! A family member is one. Challenging program, but when done you *should* be golden. Two tough years ahead. Very expensive gym membership -walking & weights are less cost. Teacher salary is for 9 months, maybe a summer or side hustle? Buckle down for two years. Best of luck, you’ve got this.
Dont stress yourself, take the loans you need to make this easier. Spend the first 2-3 years after he lands his job living on your full salary and 1/2 his. Use his other half to knock out the loans.
Cut eating out with friends to once a month. Since your husband will be away most of the week, you’ll want to maximize your time together when he’s home on weekend anyway.
Think about options for adding income. Can you work summers and holiday breaks? For example, check the places near you that run child care programs for school-age children during school breaks. They may hire temporary staff. It doesn’t pay well, but will fit your schedule and supplement income a bit. I used to do that and found it worked best when I was doing arts & crafts or games with much younger/older children than I normally taught.
Can you do a part-time house share to offset expenses? I taught in a small town for years, living in a 2 BR house. Most years, I had another teacher renting the spare room M-Th during the school year. They lived too far to commute every day, but had no desire to spend weekends in small town. Usually first year teachers, who either transferred to schools in larger towns or got their own places after a few months of steady pay check, but one year it was a nurse on temp contract at county hospital. I kept the rent low, because I mainly wanted to cover utilities.
I may have a bit of an outlier opinion here, but you may want to significantly cut your retirement contributions for the next 2 years to create more cash flow. Your husband will make good money once he enters the workforce so the loss of those contributions should be fairly negligible in the long term. Stress about money has proven to be significantly detrimental for long term relational, mental, and physical health. My 2 cents.
Unfortunately yes, it’s 2 years and you guys have enough saved in savings. Like you said, cut some of those going out to eat and hanging out with friends and minimize whatever you can for 2 years and then things will be back on the normal for you too. Good luck and God bless
Cutback where you can (eg, get a cheaper gym) but I wouldn’t worry too much. A PA job is always available and well paid, so this is just two years of living super lean.
OMG that gym membership tho, 159/month is wild for just working out. Def gotta cut that if you need to save up!
Depending upon where you end up settling, new grad PAs make about $150k -200k (in CA). I had no income when I went to PA school, took out loans, paid it all back over time. If you’re consistently wise with your money, which it looks like you are, you guys will do fine. The leanest years will be right after PA school ends and during repayment. Be diligent and wise. But it’s worth it.