For the 40-something’s that got married in your 20s, how’s your retirement accounts looking?

I recently turned 46 and grateful for a high paying job. However I have a wife and kids, and of course bills!

I didn’t make much, < $100K for the first 10yrs of my career. 23-33. Ouch! However, I was a saver and anything I could save it went towards an engagement ring, wedding, and down payment on my home. This being 20yrs ago. I had about $80K saved up. Which was a lot to a 26yr old living at home. Sadly none of that got invested. At the time, I was only able to save maybe 10% of my income at the time which was probably 35% of the max 401k contribution allowance.

After reading stories on Reddit, I must say I’m envious of the young folks for holding off on big commitments. I wouldn’t change my decisions if I could go back, but I now see it’s very hard to have it all. There are some people in their late 20s, early 30s that already have $500K+ saved for retirement. When they mention their wage and how much they’re investing I think I could’ve easily done that had my choices been different when younger. Money isn’t everything but having a sum like the above in your late 20s could set you up for an early retirement, maybe mid/late 40s. That’s tremendous. Now, I’m paying the price…probably like some of you here. I didn’t make bad decisions but they just weren’t aligned to maximize financial growth and net worth.

Once I approached my mid-30s and started earning more, I changed to this strategy and got focused but lost the crucial first 10yrs, which means everything. I can’t get it out of my mind that the ship has sailed, done, gone. Sucks. I really hate knowing that I’ll probably work another 16yrs or so. Do I have a decently size retirement account now? By the standards of many yes, but, I also live in a HCOL area and given my current wage, I don’t want to go backwards in lifestyle in retirement. So I’m saving and investing like a maniac where it really sucks because although my comp is high, after I’m done contributing to my investment accounts for the week, I feel very average. Which is a shitty feeling when you’re a high earner. If only I would’ve done things a bit different AND earn what I’m earning now, that would be the life. THAT is the difference between working class and upper/approaching wealthy class.

I just don’t know how to get out of this funk. It’s very demotivating as all I think about is how much more I need to invest to get to X sooner than 16yrs from now. I’m already spending future raises. A shitty way to live and poor outlook. I think I need to seek therapy and talk to someone. My apologies, just wanted to rant.

Obviously, I am grateful though as this issue pales in comparison to what some of you are going through financially. I just wanted to vent…certainly can’t do it at work or at home. lol. Thanks for reading. Unsure if any could relate here.