Hello,
For context, I am 26M who currently lives in San Antonio, TX. My girlfriend ( 32F ) is a stay at home mom and we just had our first baby together last year May of 2025.
It feels like I have been living paycheck to paycheck despite making $110,000 Gross income a year. I also have ZERO savings God forbid if anything happened I’m not sure what we would do.. I don’t have any 401K or contributions to any retirement accounts as everything feels so expensive right now
I have a base salary of 70K, I get VA compensation rated at 30% which equates to $7200 annually tax free and my commission bonuses , I get monthly around an extra 2-3K on top of my base salary.
I feel I do quite well but I’m still drowning…
**Monthly Expenses**
Rent : $1900
Truck payment : $497
Auto insurance: $252
Groceries $ 800
Health insurance for my Girlfriend and our son : $489
Paying my mom back : $200 ( needed 20k to get out of bad debt last year )
Renting washers and dryers $65
Girlfriend Phone Bill : $94
My phone bill : $75
CPS Electric bill : $150
Discover card $44 interest free closed account paying them back . $1700 balance left
Netflix : $20
Disney : $14
Spotify: $13
Spectrum WiFi / Internet $55
Savings : $0
Any help / feedback on what I should do is appreciated. My credit score is 692
Need help – Provider Dad family of 3
byu/AsparagusDue8450 inpersonalfinance
Posted by AsparagusDue8450
16 Comments
So summary of your data:
* Total Monthly Net Income $6500
* Total Monthly Expenses $4668
Yes? No?
If yes, then you are clearly not accounting for something. There are nearly 2K of unaccounted for $$.
So either there is an inaccuracy in the *income* side or you are missing actual line item *expenses*.
Your written budget is only as good for planning as the accuracy within.
Bro… you and your girl need a Dave Ramsey type budget. That truck payment needs to go, your cell phones should go to whoever can give you coverage the cheapest, and all your streaming services need to be cut down to 1… max.
Right now its about surviving, and you’re just barely doing that.
Also, i get your gf being at home for a little bit with the baby, but she may likely need to get a job as well (even something part time to bring in some $).
I would ask your mom if you can pay off that credit card thats closed then get back to oaying her back which would increase the amount you could pay her back, which also cuts down the time you would need as well.
Find some side jobs to save about 5k then sell the truck and get a solid beater like a Honda Civic or Toyota Corolla or something and pay in cash.
Get cheaper phone plans. Visible has some really low prices right now.
Get used washer dryer off FB marketplace and return the rent to own machines.
You have about $4700 in expenses and should be taking home about 7k a month after taxes. You need to build a budget and stick to it as you have about $2300 in untracked spending.
Also get on a family phone plan and cut out a subscription for a little extra breathing room. See if you can sell the truck and get something cheaper to drive and insure.
Cancel subscriptions, get your entertainment from the library.
Do you need the truck for work? If not, sell it and get something cheaper, that will also lower your car insurance and gas.
Shop around for internet and phone – at one point Spectrum had a deal for $40 internet with phone included.
Electric seems way high, especially for this early in the year, adjust your thermostat and see if there are other ways you can cut your usage. If you’re spending $150 already, you’re going to be over $200 by the time it gets hot.
I’m in Austin. Some ideas:
* Switch your phones to Visible ( cheap Verizon) as soon as you can ($25/mo)
* You can spend less on groceries. I’m in Austin with a family of 4 (kids are school age), both of us work full time, and we spend $800/month on groceries, and that’s with buying convenience food because we both work. I spent way less when I was a SAHM. Shop the Meal Deal and Combo Loco at HEB, try to only buy the stuff you buy when it’s on sale
* Try to sell your truck and get something cheaper (~$250/month is the most I’ve ever paid)
* While you have that truck try to get your own washer and dryer, people will sell for $100-150, or you can find someone giving one away that works – Facebook Buy Nothing in your area is great for this
* Also join Buy Nothing for stuff for the kiddo, people give away kids toys, clothes, and shoes all the time
* $1900 is kind of high for San Antonio rent, no?
Step one is to build a budget. Sit down and write it all down. Look at credit card statements/bank statements. You aren’t accounting for a lot and that’s why you feel like you are drowning.
You should have a set budget for everything you spend money on. Oh we already spent $200 on going out to eat this month? No more til next month, etc.
That truck payment is killing you. Sell the truck. Get an old Honda. Do that for GF too. Your car insurance will go down too.
Visible has an excellent phone plan of $25 per month for each line. Unlimited data. Do that.
You make enough money. It’s just not being accounted for. Comment back for more help/advice. I know it can be overwhelming. I’ve been there. But you can’t let this get out of hand! You make enough. Just track where it’s going, make a plan for where it SHOULD go (including savings) and stick to that.
You can do it!
Something doesn’t add up here. Assuming your salary earning $9166 Gross per month which is around the $110,000 gross. I ran the 9166 gross through [paycheckcity.com](http://paycheckcity.com) paycheck calculator your take home pay should be around $7184 per month. The expenses you listed total to 4668 per month. You should have a leftover amount of 2516 per month.
Understanding your spending involves tracking expenses, categorizing them into needs (rent, groceries) and wants (entertainment), and identifying behavioral triggers. Consistently spending less than you earn is crucial for wealth building. Common strategies include the 50/30/20 rule, creating a budget, and identifying “money dials” to align spending with personal values.
**Steps to Understand Your Spending**
* **Track Everything:** Analyze your last three months of bank and credit card statements to see exactly where money goes.
* **Categorize Expenses:**
* **Needs (approx. 50-60%):** Essential costs like housing, utilities, and transportation.
* **Wants (approx. 20-30%):** Non-essentials like dining out, subscriptions, and hobbies.
* **Savings/Debt (20%):** Investments, emergency funds, and extra debt payments.
* **Identify Your “Money Dials”:** Determine what you truly love spending on (e.g., travel, fitness, food) to allow for “conscious spending”—spending heavily on those areas while cutting costs relentlessly on things that do not matter to you.
* **Uncover Spending Habits:**
* **Emotional Spending:** Shopping to cope with stress or boredom.
* **Social Influence:** Spending to fit in or keep up with others.
* **Values-based Spending:** Spending that reflects personal priorities and goals.
**Practical Tools and Methods**
* **Budgeting Apps:** Utilize technology to automatically categorize transactions, such as this example budgeting app.
* **The Envelope System:** Use physical or digital cash envelopes for specific spending categories to prevent overspending.
* **Spreadsheet Method:** Create a custom budget using this common spreadsheet tool.
* **3-Month Review:** Examine past statements to identify patterns in your spending behavior.
**Tips for Improvement**
* **Create a Routine:** Build a regular habit of checking your finances to reduce anxiety and increase control.
* **Automate Savings:** Set up automatic transfers to savings to ensure you invest in yourself before spending.
* **Pause Before Purchases:** Implement a waiting period for non-essential purchases to reduce impulse buying.
You and the gf need a new phone carrier to cut costs, no more Spotify premium, see if you can drop internet some or cheaper provider. Disney or Netflix needs to do or ad versions. That truck payment is killing you. If you don’t actually use a truck then that needs to become a reliable used sedan as it will drop your payment, save you gas, and save insurance. All that should add up to maybe $200-$300 in savings a month.
Start by combining your cell phones to one plan. If you go with T-Mobile they include Netflix too
I was a stay at home for a long time so understand how difficult it can be looking after young children , but what did your girlfriend do before she had a baby? Could she find a work from home job a few hours a week? Does she have family nearby who could help with childcare?
I would also look at your vehicle. Trucks are typically more expensive than cars. Can you trade your truck in for something more affordable?
You spend $800 on groceries and STILL go out? What are y’all eating?
Also 495/m for the privilege of filling a gas guzzling truck? Maybe downsize? Man, cars are the absolute worst investment. I’m a big burly dude and I drove a clown car that was only $150/m, paid it off and then continued to put that money away until i had a very decent down payment for a big boy truck(SUV actually).
You need to either talk with your other half about putting some of her money in savings or something.
Your going to get screwed without an emergency fund. Not an if, but when.
Phone bill could easily go from 175 to 40 if you switch to mint Mobile.
You’re paying $780 a year for a washer and dryer. Pick up an inexpensive set.
I realize that nets you about $2000 a year in saving. Not a huge amount but something.
But listed expenses would total about 56k annually. The tax free va benefit basically cancels out the roughly 7k you pay in taxes making your take home pay right at 100k.
There’s $44,000 missing. It’s getting spent elsewhere. Given that much disposable income, that’s where you’re losing all your money, not your budget (which is pretty tight, even if your car payment sucks.)
I don’t see eating out, entertainment, or alcohol anywhere on here. Most people eat their money.
You have to see exactly how much you are spending on everything each month, because I would guess anything you are way underestimating what you are spending and where.
And you are pretty lucky you have a parent willing to give you 20K for debt while repaying them at a rate of $1200 a year.
You are one big unexpected expense away from disaster, like it seems like you were in last year until your parents bailed you out.
You are going to need to make some serious changes and or your GF needs a job as well. Atleast part time on the weekends or something
You and your girlfriend aren’t married. She should qualify for health insurance for herself and child on her own.
Why do you choose to have subscriptions over savings?