40F single mom with a 15-year-old son trying to buy my first primary home. I know I’m late in the game compared to a lot of people, so I really don’t want to delay this any further if it’s still financially reasonable.
My annual income is a little over $200k. Monthly take-home is around $9,200 after deductions. The homes I’m looking at would put my total monthly housing payment (mortgage, taxes, insurance, HOA, PMI, etc.) around $4,800/month.
Other fixed monthly expenses:
– Car payment: $1,183/month (paid off Nov 2027)
– 529 college contribution: $700/month
– Groceries/household: ~$500/month
– Internet: $71/month
That leaves me with roughly ~$1,900–2,000/month after the major fixed expenses above, not including gas, eating out occasionally, miscellaneous spending, travel, emergencies, home maintenance, or unexpected costs.
I keep going back and forth between:
1. This feels financially tight for a single-income household
2. If I wait longer, prices/rates may not improve anyway, and my son will likely leave for college in about 3 years. Part of me wants him to at least get to live in “our own home” before that chapter starts.
No major debt besides the car. I do have retirement savings and RSUs, but I’m trying not to rely on those.
For people who bought later in life or as a single-income household, does this sound manageable, or am I underestimating the pressure of a nearly $5k housing payment? Thank you everyone for your time.
TL;DR:
40F single mom making a little over $200k/year, take-home around $9.2k/month, considering a home with a total monthly payment around $4.8k. After major fixed expenses, I’d have about $2k left monthly. Trying to decide if buying now makes sense versus waiting, especially since my son leaves for college in ~3 years.
Mortgage payments – question
byu/PossibleChance1712 inpersonalfinance
Posted by PossibleChance1712
5 Comments
How much is rent? How much do you have in your retirements? How much are you putting down for downpayment? I know you want your son to have a home before he leaves for college but you need to take your feelings aside and look at the numbers.
Not sure how much you have in the 529 or if your son will get many scholarship or if you plan on helping while he’s in college but that can be a big expense as well! I know my parents paid some while I was in school to make it manageable for when I got out!
The house does seem like a bit to bite off! Not sure if there are better options in your area
That feels really tight. Home ownership comes with needing money for repairs, etc. Something always needs fixing in a house. I’d probably be more inclined on the house if the car was paid off. I’m risk averse though. I totally understand your desire to buy and build a stable home base for your kid, but also I bet you are an amazing mom who already does that in a rental. I might not have been much help, but good luck.
Biggest thing that stood out to me is lack of retirement and savings. How will you pay for a new roof or a broken water heater? Are you no longer contributing to retirement?
$1200/mo for a car payment? Holy shit. Pay that off ASAP and free up that $$$. 200k/yr is a really good salary, there is no reason it should be this tight.
$500/mo for food seems like a lot, but prices are high these days. Assuming that involves meal prep and fresh ingredients?
What kind of area are you looking to buy in? VHCOL or HCOL will eat up your take home pay much quicker than a medium or low cost of living area, depending on if your job offers you that fflexibility.