My husband (M34) and I(F35) just had a 1 year old baby. I'm currently a stay at home mom with no income and this honestly gives me so much anxiety. Husband makes a good income. We are comfortable but not rich. We still have about 250k left on our morgage.
I want us to get a term life insurance, especially now that we have a kid, but husband thinks it is unnecessary. He keeps asking why we would need it. I tried to explain that It's not about expecting something bad to happen to him or me, but about protecting our son, at least financially. I want both of us to have coverage but especially his policy since he is the breadwinner. I find this is a very hard and sensitive topic, it after all, is about death and the worst scenario that no one wants to think or talk about.
I said I would pray for that money to be wasted but I think it's totally necessary. He disagrees and the air has been heavy between us. Am I being unreasonable to push him to get term life insurance? How can I explain to him that this is very important to me?
Thank you everyone!
Am i being unreasonable to push husband to get term life insurance?
byu/Ok_Reward536 inInsurance
Posted by Ok_Reward536
6 Comments
Put it like this, my wife is a nurse, we only owe about $185k on the house, and don’t have kids and I’ve got roughly $1 million on me between my own term life and coverage through my job. She doesn’t even have a car note.
It’s more than worth the $75ish I spend a month on insurance to make sure she’s covered if something happens to me.
Does he have Term Life via his employer? Normally I think it’s a good idea but I didn’t buy that when my baby was born because my father said that if we had a disaster he’d basically insure us. Thankfully I have a good relp with him. If you buy it, though, please be careful of the fine print; I know people who found that they try to avoid paying. Get a reputable insurer
Start by sharing how you feel. “Since ___ was born, I have realized how much I want to cover every possibility to keep his future safe. This concern is making me feel ___ and ___, and I want to hear your side on this so we can hopefully understand each other better and come to an agreement.”
Then ask him what he thinks would happen to you and your baby if he died. What does he envision? Where does he see you going? Does he understand that you would have to go get a job, and may not have the same warning potential as him? Lay out how you could lose the house, struggle to pay burial prices for him, etc. what those things would all cost.
Then, ask him what would happen to him and your baby if you died. What does he say? Does he understand that if you died, as your child’s primary caregiver, he would have to replace you by hiring a nanny or sending your son to daycare? Does he know the waiting list for childcare in your area? Does he know the monthly costs for that care?
Bring data to the conversation with you. But also use the “I hear you saying this, can you explain that more to me?” tactic. Confirm you are hearing what he is saying, and ask him questions to get to the bottom of why he feels it isn’t necessary.
My mother died at 49 years old. I was only out of the house for a few years before her death. She got esophageal cancer.
The rate of cancers has skyrocketed for our generations (millennials and xers). Especially with things like colorectal cancer, we aren’t doing well. You’re right to want to get a term life policy. It’s meant to provide for your family in the event of either one, or both, of you passing early. It’s not meant to be forever insurance.
Does he understand the concept of why home and auto insurance are important? This is the same thing. It’s just on y’all, as two people who are 100% responsible for the health and financial wellbeing of your son and of each other. It’s just as necessary.
I don’t get his apprehension, between both our jobs my husband and I both have 4 policies each for varying levels of life insurance. Any time my husband does something risky like climbing a ladder I record him to make sure I’m not blamed if something goes sideways 🤣🤣 But seriously, does he think the policy is just a waste of money? Bad shit happens all the time in the world, why wouldn’t he want to make sure your set up if something happened??
This is basic financial planning
Ask:
Why would you take the chance that something does happen and leaves us destitute or dependent on selling the home to possibly live going forward
Multiply his income by the years left until child is say 18 and add the mortgage
That should give you an idea of a basic goal for coverage
I have paid out 3 life claims this year to families of people in their 40s
You are being smart and prepared. I would totally push it. If your husband dies, god forbid, you will lose the house and will be in a tough situation. I got term life through my work for my husband and kids. If anything happens to me, they will at least not lose the house.