I make 57k a year before taxes. After taxes , insurance, retirement blah blah blah, its 41, 664 take home. Which is 3,472 a month. After 2k living expenses, I am left with 1,472 a month. Sounds good… 1472-160 for gas-400 for groceries-258 for car payment -128 for auto and renters insurance, no cc debt but medicak and student loan debt -130 a month. Thats just 396 dollars a month left over. 4,752 a year. God forbid anything happens thats an emergency. I still havent registered and inspected my car, done routine maintenance on my car, accounted for doctor visits, my dog gets sick, who knows ya know? Not to mentiom-LIVED, done anything fun of any sort. It just doesnt seem feasible to live anymore. My wife is a stay at home mom plus the baby, and dog. I work full time already and need ti be available on weekends for my current job so I cant get a second job. Also my wife cant go back to work yet because our daughter is too new. Any other advice is greatly appreciated.
Cost of Living is Too High. How are yall doing it?
byu/ChatteristOfficial inFrugal
Posted by ChatteristOfficial
47 Comments
You need to get a second income or a better income, do JobStacking if you can.
I have no idea how even a single person survives on less that 100K, I make 3x that and struggle sometimes
Not trying to sound harsh or rude but you need to make more money. That’s a complex issue and solution to your problem but that’s the bottom line. A family of 3 on 57k is not realistic and you need to make immediate changes to your lifestyle. TBH, probably shouldn’t have had kids because you can’t afford them.
It’s time to look at side hustles, a second job or a better paying job. Not much else can be done unless you move in with family because the rest of your expenses sound pretty low.
Can your wife find a work from home job? Work weekends while you work the week?
Your wife needs to work.
Save what you can.
Take advantage of free local resources and events
You also just accept this period is tight and will be tight for 12 years more at least.
You don’t need a second job, you need a new job. 57k is extremely slim these days to support 2 adults, and then you add in dog and kid.
Keep working your job while job searching for something that pays a whole lot more.
1 bedroom condo, 25 year old car that I drive 500 miles a year, happy hour specials, sales at grocery store, Spirit Airlines, no avocado toasts, no delivery, no pets (except fish), etc.
Living like that I save $50K minimum a year (401k, ira, brokerage).
I could not imagine having kids without at least double that income (living in fun urban area).
A few things:
1. Evaluate your expenses and cut what you can
2. When your wife is done with her maternity leave, work opposite shifts. If she could make work like 3 days a week I think that would help a lot
3. R/beermoney. I’ve earned about $100 a week on average from various sites for the last 3 years and it’s been very helpful. I make about what you do from my day job and my partner is a disabled veteran who wasn’t getting anything from the VA until recently and wasn’t working. $400 extra a month helps with a ton.
You need more income. Most people can’t afford to have a SAH parent
Sounds like you need to get rid of that car payment. A complete shitbox with low insurance premiums.
And it’s completely selfish to have a dog. And true honest your wife needs to work.
You probably won’t like my advice but it’s what your true friends and family would tell you. Sorry that your child isn’t getting all the benefits of a stay at home mom, but you’re a unit. Everyone has to contribute somehow.
I make half what you make, I don’t know how I make that work tbh
There is no overnight solution. Bottom line is you need to work on reducing living expenses AND increasing income. If you have $300 left over in your monthly budget then you are doing better than most Americans.
I would encourage you to read Dave Ramsey’s total
Money makeover. It is a simple and effective way to build a solid financial foundation.
I live in Australia. Divorced and has been paying child support up until 2024.
I have been room sharing, eating Asian way sort of speak.. i.e loaf of bread vs 1kg of rice? They are similar in price – but rice goes a long way than a loaf of bread.
Canned tuna goes with rice etc.. not so healthy eating but looking at say SEA/asian way of eating. It’s cheap!
Outside of that necessity spending only. Cheap phone and contracts.
Through process of elimination. I ended up with a figure of AUD 2K for day to day living.
720 a month accomodation – everything else food, phone, petrol.
Other future expenses obviously saved. But boring food, boring life (I’m a gamer so not so boring, lots of free games to kill time).
No subscription, no car debt.. like NOTHING. Survival mode means you live wihtout a lot of things. Except food. You need to get creative. For us, tinned tuna is good enough so are frozen veggies. (35-50 a week on food).. .. coke/soda drinks, chocolates are all luxury foods. Water is essential that you get from taps.
you’re a little bit different to me — as I am divorced – but paying child support (was).. and you are with family.
But, the concept still is the same. essentials only and you ahve to sacrifice (including health, but not too much) — I was always hungry!!! but I knew what I ate was all my body needed. Water for drinks.. and every 2 weeks a tiny chocolate bar or a soft drink.
I survived on rice + tinned tuna + frozen vegetables + cheap meats ( chicken being core meat). It’s a mindset of.. I have to do this i’m on survival mode.
from 2009-2024. Relatively heathly. during the time of “sacrifice”
More income.
Or more jobs.
Or more roommates
Housing is one of the highest expenses that we can control.
Our salary is also in our control to maximize.
Maybe momma can home daycare for another family…an extra $300 cash weekly would go a long way in your situation. When you make 57k a year having a SAHM is not very doable.
There’s no shame in going to a food bank. The more used those resources are, the more funding they receive.
Ditch the car and rid yourself of car payment buy a beater car every few years cash straight forward it will be better on you in the long run especially if you get something cheap on gas as far as food goes i have a huge family we buy stuff in bulk such as flour rice sugar anything that can be bought in bulk and saved we do because its cheaper in the long run there are also food banks and food stamps to consider you could also try and find a facility that pays for your plasma/blood drawn check out 2 apps one called flash foods and another called too good to go they are both great on their own right for food especially if you live in a big city area Edit …also could you break down the 2k in living expenses
How? There’s lots of ways.
First, $57K is WAY below median household income in US, which is over $80K.
So step 1 is make significantly more money than $57K a year. Work more, ask for a raise, switch jobs, etc.
Most people have a dual-income household, where spouse works at least part-time job or full-time job if kids are in school. Or they provide paid daycare for other kids in neighborhood, if SAHM with young kids.
Also, don’t have pets or kids if you can’t afford them.
Finally, stop doing dumb things like giving church 10% on Sundays. Not saying OP does this, but my lord so much money is wasted on church. Give them $20 like a movie ticket and call it good.
If your wife is on maternity leave that’s different than being a stay at home mom and a very important detail
Lots of people living paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes on social media it seems that everyone around is making at least 100k a year and that simply isn’t true.
Sometimes things you could/should do in your current situation:
-Save at least half or more of that 396 every month. So when that emergency comes you will have a bit of a cushion.
-Buy everything you can used. Thrift stores, garage sales, estate sales. Even better is if you have a local gifting group on FB for your area. Lots of things can be had for free.
-Reduce your number of subscriptions. Utilize your public library.
-Consider job hunting. It doesn’t cost anything to see what’s out there and apply.
-Qualify for any aid in your area? WIC? Early Head Start for child care?
I make roughly your take home pay before taxes. It just barely supports 2 adults and a cat with a reasonable amount of security. Generally speaking single income families with kids don’t work anymore, and they have never been universally achievable. Generally speaking having a stay at home parent is either a luxury for the very wealthy or a necessity for families who would get disqualified from various forms of financial aid(like Medicaid, SNAP, and various other programs)if their income increases. Working a second job can be a temporary stopgap when times are tough, but the stress can destroy your health and your relationship with your family over the long term.
Your wife needs a job too.
$400 a month into the most basic index fund nets you over $450k over 2 decades.
Yup, that’s close to my finances too and I’m supporting me and my daughter. I’m desperately applying to everything I qualify for. Aggressively with mindfulness. If anything happens we are screwed. I hate living on the edge.
What kind of job do you have? 57k is pretty low. I think that’s your main issue here.
Something has to give.
Costs are going up, the job markets are trash – the normal advice you’d get (save on groceries, try for a better paying job) is just really hard to do currently.
My only suggestion would be look for creative ways to earn money. Your wife can sell your old clothes on Poshmark – that’s good for $200-300. Look for task rabbits/thumbtacks you can do on the weekend that might be easy money.
A few maybe practical things, depending on how old the baby is:
1. Have you updated your withholding at work now that you have a dependent? That might get you less taxes taken out.
2. Have you done a check up on your regular bills in a while? Call your insurance company, your Internet provider (if you have one), etc and see if they have any promotional pricing they can put you on. Tell them your wife is out of work if you like, see what they say. They might have nothing. They might have something.
3. Does your state have a cloth diaper bank? Mine does, and you can check out cloth diapers for free and use them instead of buying your own (or disposables).
Definitely seek out your local food pantries and church charities. For food, diapers, clothes.
Then see what you can do to earn more. $57k isn’t much these days with dependents. I’ll second r/beermoney. Even $100 more in your case would help. If you’re out of the newborn phase and your wife has recovered, could she babysit another child occasionally? Do meal prep for others? Offer laundry services, whatever might be doable for her? Drive a school bus (they let you bring your baby where I live )? Can one of you get a part time evening or weekend job? Can you get a new job (hard these days).
I’m military. I make 9.7k a month. And although I live in a hcol the military pays my Healthcare for my family too. So I really have plenty of disposable income to offset the cost of living.
My advice is to do whatever you can to get a better job. Get more education. Certifications. Training. I have friends out of the military that make 150k to 200k.
why did you have kids at that salary?
Imagine that your job simply offered you a $12K raise. Rhat would probably be an extra $800/month. That amount would change your perspective, right? The answer to your question is that, or they have another source of income like a spouse eorking or a rental property thats paid off. The key for you should be to focus on oncreasing your pay while trying to maintain your costs and expenses.
I would start with getting rid of the dog. I’ve seen too many friends drop $200-600 on random sicknesses that their dog gets .
How is gas, groceries, and car payment not included in your living expenses?
Living in WV helps. I don’t know how people in these expensive cities do it.
i just moved to mexico, I pay around $400 a month for rent now and expenses all around are much cheaper. I work remotely though, so not an option for all
OP what is your job or what do you do? You need to work on getting a promotion/moving up so you can increase your income. Thats your biggest issues right now.
Get rid of the dog you can’t afford pets
Second job
Have your wife put an ad in as a nanny in the area for lower priced than others on care.com if she’s a SAHM. Explain to her that if something happens to the dog then that dog will have to be given up. You can’t risk that bc dogs get into shit all the time. I just paid a $500 vet bill for a bad UTI
I make 54k gross and can barely support just myself due to high cost-of-living. I’m quite frugal and have no debt. I also have a chronic illness that eats a lot of my money, but regardless. You must live in a much lower cost-of-living area than me.
I assume when you say “2k living expenses” you mean rent?
Make more money or re-home the dog
Ditch the car. Your take home is all going to the machine desgined to turn people into debt slaves.
You say “after 2k living expenses” is that fully just rent/mortgage? You list basically all other living expenses afterwards. Your options are basically either make more money or find a cheaper place to live. It also sounds like this is a very short term issue? Your wife “can’t go back to work yet” so you guys had a higher income pre-baby? And she’s planning on going back to work when she can?
I’ve been on the property ladder since 2007 always rolling my equity into the next place. My pay has gone up since then while my housing costs have stayed about the same; even as values have skyrocketed. That’s what has saved my family.
Is the leftover $396 being stored in a high yield savings account? If not keep it there so it can earn a little extra something for ya until it’s needed. Maybe check out r/beermoney for online side gigs you and your wife can pursue if you have any free time.
https://efficiencyiseverything.com/ describes how 2 people can live on 19K/year.
Less retirement contributions at first.
Work relentlessly to grow your skills, which in turn, grows your career, which should grow your salary.
I’m not doing it :’) my water just got shut off, and we just got an eviction notice