Hey guys,
this is a different extreme on the saving spectrum, but trying to get some help/insights here. I grew up poor and was oldest child of my household, so I always had a bit of a scarcity mindset mixed with a bit of fear of money (I always saw my parents stressed about money and tried to hide it from us which made the situation worse lol). fast forward until now, I'm currently making decent money (close to $200k).
the problem: I always have this irrational, lingering fear that my job will be taken away and my good fortune will suddenly evaporate. to compensate for this, I've been hoarding/saving/investing money to the point where I am living extremely minimally and treating myself to very rare outings, purchases.. just to the point where I don't break. i have all my essentials (housing, transportation, food) covered, but it resembles a household making $30k.. so not inline with my current income. it feels good to see my net worth go up but on the flipside I feel like life is passing me by and I am not truly living my life due to 'maximizing' every aspect of my financial situation. i feel like the growing number is my security and addresses my fear of financial poverty.
i've tried budgeting to balance out my life, but always slowly fell back to saving because it felt like I was leaving efficiency on the table and felt like I was "trying" to enjoy spending money. hard to describe, but it is just weird. this whole on-off cycle has been going on for almost ten years now.
with the whole AI narrative in today's news and the economy being evermore uncertain, my fear on job security and my financial situation has gotten worse. how do I address this? I know this isn't a healthy relationship so any advice is greatly appreciated!
Weird relationship with money… help?
byu/Humble_Razzmatazz833 inpersonalfinance
Posted by Humble_Razzmatazz833
8 Comments
There’s nothing wrong with that. You actually have good discipline to build wealth
If you feel that you need more and start questioning your lifestyle, maybe you shouldn’t change everything but look at what things/services would improve your quality of life and give them to yourself. You only have one life and it’s good make it worth living 🙂
The answer to dealing with the anxiety is probably therapy, which will cost money.
Make sure to invest in your health. When you say your lifestyle resembles a $30k income, I worry that you’re not seeing a dentist, getting an annual doctor checkup, or eating a nutritionally well-rounded diet. All of that could cost you more money later if you don’t invest into it now.
Investing in your mental health will also pay off in the long run. That looks different for everyone, but it could mean getting into a hobby, going out once a week, or hiring someone to do a chore that you hate (cleaning service, laundry service, meal kits, whatever).
Investing in your health and happiness will help you perform well at your job. And, yeah, you make a budget that includes this stuff.
The great news is that this is what therapy is made for; find a therapist you connect with. This kind of anxiety isn’t good for you, and there are ways to manage that anxiety.
Set aside a certain amount of spending $$ and actually spend it
If I were you I wouldn’t be so eager to increase your spending. It easier to keep spending low than it is to reduce it.
To be honest, this sounds less like an issue with money and more like an issue of you not having any hobbies you enjoy.
Also the oldest of a poor household. I can relate and I hear you. But let me ask you this? Are you guaranteed a tomorrow? Not to go dark but shit can change at any moment. Life is too short, you should live it. No dollar amount in your bank account will amount to anything on the other side. But life experiences will. Take that vacation, buy a little something for yourself here and there.
By this I do not mean spend recklessly, you sound pretty smart. There is nothing wrong with frugality in today’s world. Most complain about gas prices and such and being broke without acknowledging the amount they spend as a consumer on dumb shit.
The psychological effects of the world we live in today and its oversaturated amount of influences will cripple you if you let it. The first step out of your comfort zone is the worst but it gets easier from there. Maybe open a separate account and direct deposit a little money into it weekly and only spend from that? Your anxiety is based on a lot of “what if this” “what if that” happens. But WHAT IF everything will be alright?
Best wishes to you friend.
With that level of savings, how soon can your get to “Financial Independence”? Once you are (have enough to live rest if your life without working,) would you be able to relax?