So some background, I (21F) and my partner (21M) are currently living with his parents rent free. They are my parents as well (they took me in as a young teen,) and wanted us to stay while we finish school. My partner does not know what he wants to do and is likely not going to school any time soon. He works full time making around 17/hour. I am on a hiatus from working on my nursing prereqs so that I can pay off some debt and save. I am currently working a healthcare job about half time (currently meeting with potential clients) at 20/hour.
I really want to pay off my debt and then focus on moving out. I feel like living at his parents and saving seems like the most obvious decision, but we are living in an unventilated garage room build that is not up to code sharing one room with our two cats. There are 3 more animals and 4 more people in the two bedroom house and we all share a single bathroom. To be honest the house is gross and I can't keep up with the cleaning. Our bedroom door is by the washer and dryer and reusable dog pee pads get thrown in front of our door and stink up the garage. I don't have any space to study. (I was working as an RA before I took school off and we moved because my work situation and our roomates were awful to live with, but now I have no study space.)
We are about to get married in a year (his parents are paying for this and have 10k set aside. We are planning on staying within that budget) and I don't want to be married but living in a shitty garage. We just live in a HCOL area and will be needing to spend at least $1,400 for a decent 1 bedroom apt.
I guess I'm just asking if it's possible for me to get and stay on track with school (eventually nursing school) while renting and working more hours. I just keep going back and forth and don't know if it's financially smart to move out. Any tips or ideas would be helpful. Thank you.
TLDR:
21F + partner (21M) living rent-free with parents, but in an overcrowded, poorly ventilated garage with no study space and stressful conditions. Partner works full time ($17/hr), I work part time ($20/hr) while saving to pay off debt and return to nursing school. Torn between staying to save money vs. moving out (~$1400 rent) for a better environment. I'm worried about whether moving out will help or hurt my ability to finish school.
Do We Stay Or Move Out?
byu/DayAccomplished2651 inpersonalfinance
Posted by DayAccomplished2651
6 Comments
If they’re offering $10k for the wedding, why not elope, usd that money to start your life, and then have a wedding when you can afford it?
I would move out in this case. My mental well being and ability to study is worth $1,400 a month in rent.
Find somewhere cheap thats moderately better environment. Skip the wedding, ask the parents for the cash
honestly yeah staying saves money, but that setup sounds kinda miserable and not great for school at all. if you can swing rent without stressing every month, moving out might actually help you stay consistent and finish faster.
Start with a breakdown of how much you spend and go from there.
Given your partner rooftops 17/hour.. That’s 680/week and 2720/month.. After tax that’s probably 2k/month. You work part time, so 20×20 is 400/week and 1600/month… That’s 1.1k/month after taxes (roughly)… $3,100/month for both of you…
No idea what both of your spending habits are like but subtract 1400 from the previously calculated total ($1,700). No idea what your debt situation is like… What’s the monthly? How much in total?
Do you have any emergency funds saved in case money gets tight? A lot of factors were missing. But even from this little bit, of quick math, it’s going to be tight every month or at some point it will be.
Moving out is the absolute worst financial decision you can make. The sheer amount of money that you save is so grand, that you can moderately make it work when your partner makes 17/h. Once you move out, you are going to realize just how unsustainable life will be with a salary that size in a HCOL area.
That said, I always support moving out if you live in an abusive household. Your situation doesn’t sound like that. In fact, your partners parents are letting you both stay, even though there is only one restroom and the house is a disaster. I get the situation isn’t perfect, but you simply will not be able to recoup the money loss if you rent, possibly ever. If his parents are nice to you, it’s even more of a slam dunk.
If you really cared about your future, getting married takes a backseat, and the two of you focus on improving yourselves. Your situation, while not perfect, is a golden ticket from a financial standpoint, that many people do not get. I’d have no problem at all throwing away dog pads for 1400 cash a month. I’m guessing living with his parents is also saving in other areas.
Once you have enough to actually move out, then you can focus on the wedding. You think it’s hard going back to nursing school now, imagine doing it losing a quarter of combined pay to rent.
Staying saves money but your living situation doesn’t sound really rough. If moving out you a better space to study and grow it might be worth it- just make sure it’s affordable.