I messed up BIG time. Filed taxes jointly and my IDR payments doubled. I can’t afford them now- what do I do?

I have around $70k in students loans and after recerting my IDR my payment doubled 😰

I was NOT thinking and filed jointly with my current husband. Apparently it is impossible to refile as married seaprately after filing jointly – NO way around it

I make a leetle less than 4k a month, post tax. My husband makes far less than that.

They hit me with $650 a month. We can't afford this payment!!!

We are already so broke and have a very humble lifestyle. I work 3 side hustles on top of a 40hr week job to save ANY money.

I can't refile….I am already burning out to stay afloat. CC debt to pay down. Mortgage. Car payment. Healthcare. Insane inflation costs

I am so tired and so depressed and so hopeless already – and now an even bigger payment?

Do I just not pay? I figure I can not pay until riggght before I go into forbearance…make a payment….and then not pay again. So my credit takes a hit – but not a terrible one?

I can then file separately next year – so my payment goes back down?

Why am I even paying right now you ask?

I got off of SAVE and onto Repaye to restart my payments because I am in public service and eligible for PSLF and I am so close (less than 2 years for 2 of my loans – less than 4 for two others)

If I dont pay – it sets me back on my forgivness timeline and credit score – but jesus. It just doesnt feel worth it anymore to keep going like this.

And it's honestly moot in terms of money – because its 120 payments regardless of the amount of the payment….I just lose time on forgiveness…. not necesaarily money…right?

We really want to have a baby but this debt is eating us alive and making that feel impossible. Its ruining my mental health…my life freaking revolves around how to afford my student loan payments…

What do I dooooo?

Besides murder my ex in revenge? See below…

P.s. long backstory but my loans come from a legacy of financial abuse. Almost none of it went toward my education – it went into my highly abusive and manipulative ex husbands pocket and a home I lost in a terribly unfair divorce. So if I seem more triggered than normal about my loans – its because I am living with this mess instead of my narcissistic ex