I need some perspective. I work a job where my take-home pay is exactly $332 every two weeks ($664 a month) i know that's very little and I'm trying to get more hours and a second job but it's not working out in my favor right now but I'm making it work with penny budgeting.
Because my budget is so tight, I’ve been struggling with transportation.
A coworker of mine found out I was paying $15–$18 per ride to get an Uber home from work. He was shocked and immediately insisted on giving me a ride home 3 days a week especially since he only lives about 3 minutes away from me.
He’s a great guy and didn’t want anything for it, but I felt terrible just taking the favor. With gas prices being so high lately, I finally convinced him to let me pay him something. Right now, I’m giving him $15 every biweekly , but I really appreciate what he’s doing and I don't want to take advantage of his kindness.
My Plan:
I have some debit im paying off but starting in June, I’m bumping it up to $30 every payday ($60 a month).
The Dilemma:
Others have pointed out that $60 is a big portion of my $664 monthly income and that im already paying him and hes fine with it and i understand that but he is saving me from walking 5 miles or spending hundreds on Ubers.
Even though he’d do it for free, I want him to know that I really appreciate him helping me and I want to make sure his gas tank stays full.
Is $60 a month fair for a 10-minute drive, or am I being "too nice" to my own financial detriment?
Edit :He really is an amazing guy he just sent me a message refusing the 60 dollars and insisting that 15 is fine
Is $60 a month fair to pay a coworker for a ride home 3x a week on a tight budget?
byu/Hour-Ad3977 inpersonalfinance
Posted by Hour-Ad3977
31 Comments
The federal mileage rate is 72.5 cents per mile. If he lives 3 minutes from you, at most he’s driving 6 extra miles each time he drops you off. If he’s doing that 3x per week that would be $13/week.
3 minutes probably doesn’t translate to 3 miles, so it would likely be less than that in reality so I don’t think the $30/month you’re paying him now is unfair or anything.
Are you on the way home for him or 3 minutes out of the way each way? If on the way home directly for him i would have simply just accepted the kindness and once in a while treated him to something. If 3 minutes out of the way each way i would pay him a little something. 60 sounds high but if you are both good with it then it is what it is.
Quick break down would be 72 minutes total time + gas a month. I still dont see that working out to anywhere near 60.
3 minute drive should be walking distance? Can you be OK just riding with him to/from his home, and go on foot from/to yours?
Going 3 minutes out of his way? You shouldn’t be paying him anything. He offered to do you a favor. You should have just accepted and thanked him. Maybe get him a coffee every once in awhile, or something like that.
Not everything in this world needs to be transactional. Accept the favor, let him know it’s appreciated, and pay it forward.
You’re being too nice. Is $664 your monthly income or just how much extra you have to spend? If the former, you do not have any leeway to be giving anything. If he wasn’t being a kind coworker for free, I’d suggest trying to give as little as able. If the latter, you don’t need to spend that much to help out. I’d say $30 is fine if you’re that insistent.
Don’t monetize this.
Three minutes is, what, a few streets down?
Buy the guy lunch every once in a while and offer to help him clean out his garage on a Sunday.
If you’re monetizing it, you’re making it a transaction. That’s fine when we’re talking big money and expenses on somebody else’s part.
However, this should be about community and relationship building. The guy’s doing you a favor at minimal cost to himself; you do him some favors next time.
There’s nothing more annoying to me than when I’m helping someone, and asking for nothing from them… and yet am getting these stressed-out offers to pay me and then quibbling about what they want to pay me.
It’s like…. STOP ASKING ME. If i wanted money , I’D ASK YOU FOR IT. Don’t make me regret helping you. I already know you don’t make a lot of money… THAT’S WHY I’M HELPING YOU.
Many people are raised in an environment that values generosity, the act of giving without expecting any sort of compensation. If this guy has that mind-set, he’s already compromising his values by accepting the $15. People with generosity in their hearts get their blessing not through money, but by knowing that they are easing someone else’s burden in a meaningful way.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to unilaterally start paying more. I think it’s appropriate if you tell him something along the lines of “I don’t want to take advantage of you, if you ever reach a point where you think that $15 isn’t enough, I’ll happily pay a little more.”
I can close to 100% guarantee you he will never bring it up.
$15 biweekly and your gratitude is more than enough if there are no road or bridge tolls he’s paying (although he’d pay them anyway). I agree with other posters that in fair weather you can always offer to walk from his location to yours and vice versa so it’s no bother for him at all.
Part of becoming a grown up is learning that when someone offers you money or a favor that adds up to money unspent, you say thank you and take it. Your coworker sees you trying to make ends meet on a low wage and is a good person offering to help you out. Show gratitude, accept the kindness, and in the future when you’re able, pay it forward to someone else.
Let the guy do you the favor. Offer a couple bucks every now and then but don’t push it. Sometimes people just want to help.
Can you bike to work on the days you don’t get a ride? Once you get used to it a 5 mile ride would only be 20 minutes or so.
Honestly your co-worker didn’t do this for the money. If you feel like you must contribute buy him a thank you gift that is meaningful. Something that you put thought into and is personalized. I’d much rather have that than take money from someone struggling.
If you have to ask this question, for the sake of your relationship with your co-worker, figure out your own means of getting to and fro.
Let the guy do you a favor. If he wants to be paid he’ll ask for it.
You should walk to his house to minimize the effort on his part though.
If you live that close to him and he is offering this is honestly not a burden, this is just a friendship. Buy him lunch or a drink once or twice a month and you will both get the enjoyment of a nice social break away from work.
Totally get where you’re coming from, but you’re overthinking this. The guy sees your situation and is doing you a solid. He doesn’t want your $60 per month; he sees that you’re struggling and is helping you out. As someone suggested, offer to help him do some chores on a weekend (clean up his garage) or buy him a drink, but nothing beyond that.
He understands that right now, you need that money more than he does. When you are in a better position, pay it forward.
Seriously? He’s just being a nice person. Not everything is about money. You’re not even out of his way. Treat him to lunch occasionally or take him over some cookies.
I think you should just focus on being a good friend it him. Be punctual. Cover coffee once in a while. If he needs his plants watered while away, offer your time. Invite him to things you plan, show him that he’s not just a ride to you. That will have a much better impact on both of your lives.
It’s sounds like your arrangement works for both of you, so I would leave well enough alone for now.
But, I do want to stress with you that I do think you are right to be offering some type of compensation. This arrangement is extremely beneficial to you and you want to avoid paying those uber fees as best you can – those are crippling.
I understand wanting to show your appreciation. You’re in essence car pooling. Maybe fill his gas tank up on the first or each month as a token of appreciation.
Buy him a coffee or take him to lunch some day. You might offer to fill his tank some day, but nothing about what you’ve wrote makes it seem like dude is trying to make a buck off you.
Just but him lunch once and a while. If he doesn’t want anything then I wouldn’t push it. Just be w good friend back
$60 is too much and even though you’re trying to not take advantage of his kindness, if you’re constantly negotiating a thing he didn’t even ask for you might make the relationship uncomfortable in a different way. $600 a month income is broke af regardless of the situation. Accept the kindness and build a rich community of collaboration and returned favors that is not financial. It will be more fulfilling for both of you and any other friends you make along the way.
Look up a joke of the day. Don’t complain about life in his car. Be a pleasant addition to his commute
Offer to pay for gas once a month… but if he’s offering for free, take it. Be smart with your money, and this is one way that’s right in your face. You’re probably getting him into the carpool lane? That benefits him too. Take the free ride!
Forget fair. What’s fair to you isn’t fair to your coworker. Just take it out of your vocabulary. Besides, the going rate is what you pay for Uber so $60 won’t cover that.
I would choose a metric that you can quantify: gasoline.
$60 / month / (3 days / week x 4 weeks a month) = $5 a day
As a coworker I would be against you paying me to drive you. I’m not doing this because you pay. I’m doing this to help you. So $5 a day is too much unless I drive a thirsty SUV. I think $2.50 a day, $15 biweekly is more than enough. It covers fuel and the minuscule wear and tear on my vehicle.
Often times people want to help, don’t take that opportunity away from your coworker. If he says $15 is fine, just pay him $15. Don’t overdue the thank you and appreciation, but maybe occasionally offering them a coffee or something. When I do overtime I often buy my partners a burrito or sandwich and if they try to be polite by refusing it (even though I know they want it) it kinda pisses me off. People need to learn to say “wow, that’s nice of you, I appreciate that” and allow the person doing the good deed to feel good about it.
Given it’s just three minutes out of the way, you’re only taking six minutes of time three days a week if we factor to and from work (though maybe it’s just to get home, and if so, how are you getting to work, Uber also?). Given you’re barely taking an hour out of his life each month, $20 / month is really more than enough in this case. For a reasonable car, $20 will cover about 150 miles or so even with elevated gas prices (assuming they don’t escalate further, hah!). $15 biweekly is probably too much as-is.
Additionally, if it’s only one way three times a week, $10 / month would be sufficient IMO.
I think your gratitude is awesome, but don’t take advantage of yourself either when somebody does you a favor. Be grateful, show your gratitude, and if you do offer compensation, be fair to yourself and them. They’re trying to help you, not rip you off like a corporation would.
Don’t fix what isn’t broken. Offer to take him out to lunch, but sometimes you just let things be.
I drove a coworker to an from work for months, 5 days a week for maybe a half tank of gas twice the entire time. They lived about 1 mile off the highway I took to work. It was fine until they started wanting me to take them other places. I think $60 is too much.
Seems impersonal. This is more of a buying him a six pack of beer regularly situation, and keeping a sharp eye out for any favors you can do for him in the future.
You sound young like maybe you are still living at home? The expectation us old farts have for young people is just to help them get started in life. If you were my own age, I would expect you to contribute. But if you’re just getting on your feet, I’m glad to be able to just look out for you. $15 is fine and will help with some gas. Eventually, you will be able to help people just like you were helped, because you have seen it modeled for you.