We fight about it- and I don't want to fight with my wife, but it happens every year. She pays $1300 in federal tax when she owes at least $3500 and she expects me to cover her taxes. I don't think it's unfair to ask my wife to cover her own taxes.
How do I speak to my wife about her taxes? My wife doesn't want to pay her income tax. Every year we come down to the same argument. She has like $25 in federal income tax withheld from her check, and I have like $200 withheld from mine, and we owe like a thousand dollars on April 15th.
byu/catshepherd816 intax
Posted by catshepherd816
27 Comments
File married but separately and let her deal with the consequences.
First recommendation would be to try to get a tax professional to work with her on her taxes so she understands its not just you asking her to do you a favor.
If that doesn’t change anything, you may consider filing separately if the hassle isn’t worth it but depending on your financial picture it may cause even more taxes for the both of you (Not financial advice just a path to explore with a professional)
Live with it, or get a divorce. If you file and she doesn’t and have a home together, the IRS could seize it.
You provide very little information (which is a bit suss), so you get a vague answer.
Are you filing a joint return? This isn’t “her” taxes or “your” taxes question, this is a shared liability. How do you approach the other shared liabilities in your life?
This is less tax help and more dealing with your spouse.
You could show her you have penalties doing that versus maybe having just a little bit more.
Or you just have way more withheld from your check to cover her dumbass
If you all keep separate finances then this is just part of the negotiations of that, and the agreement of how it’s handled.
Who does she think should pay the bill in April? Does she want or split 50/50? Roughly how much do you each make?
When you are married there is no “her taxes” and “my taxes” in the eyes of the IRS. It’s all joint unless you decided to file separately?
Also, I am not a tax accountant or a couple’s therapist but I don’t think taxes are the actual issue here, and I say that with total respect and sincerity. Money conversations are uncomfortable/difficult for a lot of relationships
Y’all are probably paying fees too because she didn’t have the money taken out when she was supposed to. My husband made the same mistake as your wife. We owed $6000 but nearly $1400 of that was just fees for not having taken the taxes out of his checks. That was what my husband needed to hear to get his act together. I had to do the taxes together and separate and then show him the exact breakdown of everything including fees before he finally agreed to just pay the taxes like he should.
Id say you need marriage counseling, not tax advice. Numbers don’t lie, views on finances are of personal choice, a choice that conflicts with yours
Is she 18 or something? She needs to grow up
It’s not a tax issues – it’s a your wife doesn’t care issue. Probably more apt for a different sub.
There’s some drawbacks to you doing it – but you could always do MFS and have her face the full brunt of what she’s done and maybe it’ll bring her around.
Ah the old argument of your money and mine. Sounds like roommates.
Join accounts or don’t. There shouldn’t be you or her covering the tax liability. You all should plan upfront and withhold accordingly.
How does that even work? Manually setting it or adding more dependents ya’ll don’t have?
What is your income vs her income?
You do realize you’re married and there is no his and her taxes? They’re your (as in both of you) taxes.
I’m guessing her paycheck is hers to spend as she pleases? Otherwise, why wouldn’t she fix it? Even if you keep separate accounts for discretionary spending, having a joint account that you each contribute to and pay the household bills from might help her realize what it actually costs to run your household -including the tax bill from her under-withholding.
I’ve had tax clients who ask me to calculate how much each spouse is responsible for in terms of the total taxes owed. There’s some assumptions and choices that have to be made to get to a number, so it’s never a matter of there being just one answer to that question. But if you could get your tax person to make that calculation for you, it might be easier to convince her to have more withheld. Or it might not make any difference to her at all.
If you keep separate finances and this is an issue, ask your employer to withhold less (there is a form for that), like she does. That way, you will get a tax bill where both need to pay the same (but she still needs to pay 50% o it). Also you can put that extra money you save in a CD or HYSA and use it to pay the bill the next tax season.
Not being able to have mature conversations about finances is a red flag, though.
How do you divvy up communal expenses and allocate personal spending allowances throughout the year?
How is the tax liability settled in April?
If you each make approximately the same income and you both contribute 50-50 to household expenses, both put the same into savings and retirement, leaving the rest for personal spending, then she should have a bit more personal spending funds than you every week. If that’s the case, make sure she pays her tax debt in April from per personal funds.
If you commingle everything and both direct deposits go to the same checking account, then you benefit from her withholding strategy during the year and she benefits from yours in April. The debts are joint and paying it out of joint savings is appropriate.
Find a new wife
Just increase your own withholding by $100 per month. Solved.
Bruh what’s the difference if you’re married? Your money is hers and her money is yours.
The easiest solution – assuming you aren’t ready to merge finances – is to file jointly for the tax benefits, but split the amount due based on what you each *would* owe if you filed separately.
In other words, have each person complete a tax return as “Married, filing separately”, but don’t submit them. Suppose you’d owe $500 and she’d owe $1500. Then, you’re responsible for 25% of the tax liability and she’s responsible for 75%. Prepare a real tax return filing jointly, and split the amount owed accordingly. I.e., if you owe $1000 filing jointly, in this example you’d pay $250 and she’d pay $750.
very simple. prorate the share of taxes owed based on income earned. if you make 2/3 of total income then you pay 2/3 of total tax. But as others have said you probably need to start working toward joint finances. you can still keep individual bank accounts, but you should probably have 1 that pays all the bills.
If the rest of yalls life is like this maybe filing for divorce will make filing taxes easier in 2027
The very first question that needs to be answered before anyone can help you is: Do you two completely share your money? As in all money goes into a shared/joined account, or do you two keep your own money separately from one another and split the bills evenly? That is a very important piece of information that needs to be answered before anyone can help you.
maybe fill out a W4 for her to give to her employer. all she has to do is sign.
but how you split the family pot of money is the real issue that you need to have a conversation about. start having a family meeting to discuss finances – monthly? weekly? does she not want to talk about any budgeting? there is more to finances than taxes.
also most divorces are about $$.
Why has no one mentioned the fines for under-withholding? You should each be having 90% of your (individual) annual liability withheld from your paycheck. Everyone should adjust their exemptions each year to fine-tune that amount.
That said, OP’s wife seems financially immature/selfish.
Do you make more than her? Honestly it kinda low key sucks when one makes more than the other so the lower earner ends up paying more tax because of that – especially if you’re not pooling fincance otherwise.